I think I may be failing as a mother. The other two boys drive me to my limit almost everyday. I don't know what to do. The major problems are as follows: they play together when they should be sleeping and then are grumpy all day because they are tired, they play and almost always end of fighting with Wyatt unleashing his temper and thus pummeling Issac for minor things, Issac when he doesn't get his way or wants to be played with bites others mainly Wyatt. These behaviors are not okay with me especially the hitting and biting. I don't know what to do. I have done time out, spanking, etc... Today though I realized I am losing this battle, but it is important to me.
It all came to a point, when I was trying to go to the bathroom. Heaven forbid I get five minutes alone. The boys were in their room playing. I hear a fight break out and yell to knock it off from my bathroom, but they seized upon the fact that I was currently detained and continued on. Wyatt ended up beating Issac. Issac came looking and crying all through the house for me. He would have just told me Wyatt hit him. It happens daily. He's looking for me to punish Wyatt, but I know he typically is the instigator. I ignore him knowing that eventually he will go back and play. He does and soon after it all happens all over again. I call Wyatt to the bathroom, where I spank him really hard, my hand even stings. He cries but only a short time and I know that nothing has really changed. It is not like all of the sudden he will never hit again.
And I am frustrated because I am angry. I am angry that I can't take a poo, sorry I know it's gross, for five minutes without total chaos breaking out. And I realized that I am spanking Wyatt not because I am calm and in control and showing him that he is being punished and that actions have consequences, but because I just need five minutes. I don't want to be the judge, referee, defender of my one son from the other, and so forth every minute of every day. And I can't go back and undo these children, because they are here and I want them, but I feel like I am failing miserably. And I am usually really good at the things I do, but I am not good at this. And so I put them all in seperate rooms in time out and me the same, but nothing has changed.
Love Bugs
2 months ago
4 comments:
I love you Mary! You are not a horrible mother. We all have those days...I know that doesn't really make you feel better..but you are not alone. You really aren't. You are a wonderful woman and mother. Keep at it your kids love you anyway. :)
Now, normally I don't comment on things like this because I'm sure most people are like, your dumb, you don't have kids, you don't understand. BUT I do have sisters and brothers and friends who all have kids and they have ALL told me they felt that way at least once. And I have seen you mother your kids and you are a very good mother. You really are, I'm not blowing smoke. Kids are kids, they'll test you and push you. Putting them all in seperate rooms seems like a great idea to me.
oh, I'm so there with you right now. I get so frustrated playing referee all day. I now leave my house everyday for a couple of hours and take the kids to the park, YMCA, zoo, anywhere but home. They seem to fight less when we are out. But on the days when we don't leave I'm at my wits end. Try putting them in different rooms for a little bit at night to see if they will actually sleep instead of play. That might help with the lack of sleep.
oh mary....welcome to my world lately....2 boys that argue all the time! What is it with boys!!! I just emailed mindee a couple days ago telling her I was at my wits end with my kids and potty training! She assured me we all have bad days and YOU assured me to endure! I think we need a blog for all of us mothers that have those days and need a lift! It's soooo hard!! But for some reason heavenly father all gave us situations and kids that we CAN handle. So as much as we think we fail...ENDURE! you can do it! i know you're a wonderful mother...
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