Notes From the Underbelly and Other Random Facts

Alert: Jonathon this blog is not for you, womenly content is involved.

So there was this failed television show a year or so back called notes from the underbelly. Clever name although I guess the show stunk because it didn't last as far as I can tell. Although I have often thought since hearing that title, that it should be the title of my life. Of late I feel like my life revolves around pregnancy, breastfeeding, kids, etc... Not a big surprise I have four, but it is ever more poignant as I try to stop having the aforementioned kids. So I weened the little one last week, and it didn't dawn on me until Friday or so that I need to change my birth control if I am no longer feeding from Micronor, the mini pill, to whatever Ortho Tri Cyclin or what have you. I call to get an appointment with a local doctor based on nothing else except who is closest and will therefore be most convenient.

I call the first office and his receptionist informs me they can get me in there in three weeks. Seriously, I then informed her that in three weeks time I would likely be pregnant and that I would need somthing sooner. At which point she chuckled and said, "don't be ridiculous". Okay I know she doesn't know me, so lady just take my word on it. She said no appt till then at which point I informed her I'd look else where to get something sooner. I called the next office and they could get me in today. Fabulous by tonight I'll be all hormoned out properly to avoid child #5, not that he doesn't have a future, just not yet anyway.

They asked when I had my last papsmear. I said when I was prego, so just over a year ago. Oh, you need a papsmear otherwise we don't prescribe birth control. Now once again, I am aware of standard practices and procedures, but people it is not like I have ever gone more than two years without having one. I am pregnant enough to take care of it. But they persisted. Great. Now what to do with the four kids, because quite frankly there are a few too many and they are a little too old to be sitting there as I swing my legs up into the stirrups. Not a pretty picture for anyone. I can't very well ask my neighbors who I don't really know, I don't feel comfortable asking anyone in the ward who I don't really know, so I am meeting my husband at the office so he can take the car napping children on a drive, to keep them asleep, so I can prevent future ones.

All this rigamaroo just to stay unpregnant and those are notes from the underbelly. Look for more installments in the future.