Tuesday, January 22, 2013

And Finally...

To finish my vanity series that I didn't expect to start:

One of these things is not like the other.  Figure out which one doesn't belong.

Heidi Klum
Blond Hair
5' 9.5"
135 lbs.

Cat Deeley
Blond Hair
5' 9"
135 lbs.

Charlize Theron
South Africa
Blond Hair
5' 9.5"
120 lbs.

Mary ???
An American Mutt
Brown Hair
a whole lot more than 120-135 :)

Oh yeah and why did I pick these girls...yes you guessed it, these are my hubby's top three Hollywood crushes.  I am sensing he has a type, I just don't know how I fit into that type. 

Monday, January 21, 2013

And on a related note...

Couple days ago the post had to do with my looks likewise today will too.  Sorry.  Lately for Women's Club of Manheim my picture has been in the local newspaper a lot.  The time difference between the interviews and pics are significantly earlier than when they publish, usually a couple weeks.  I may have a general sense of when the picture will come out, but not much.  So usually a friend will text, facebook, etc...  Bella will then run and fetch the paper for me so I can check it out.  She willingly offers her commentary on the quality of the shot.  The most common phrase I have been hearing in regards to these pictures are, "I didn't even realize it was you." 

After a couple of times enquiring further, it has come to my attention that people aren't accostumed to my fake, polite PR smile.  They are more used to my spastic, on the verge of looking like I may have some kind of developmental delay smile.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Give Me A "T"

T - Tenacious (go getter)
R - Responsible (our family will never want for anything)
A - Amazing (needs no explanation)
V - Valiant (worthy and excellent)
I - Inspired (both because he is close to the Lord and a creative genius)
S - Service (he just excels at it, like no one else i know)

It may seem like I could drone on for hours about how wonderful my hubby is.  I'm sure it makes some people crazy, but I just never in my wildest dreams imagined I could be this happy or lucky or fulfilled by another person.  He supersedes my greatest expectation everyday.  And so post after annoying post I'm still raving about this guy.  I love you, T-Rex.  Happy Birthday.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

You Know What I Hate...

There are a few things that worry me...and one is when people say, "You remind me of ....."  This rarely ends well for me.  I'm not sure if this is a universal thing for people or just me.  Back when I was first married, I visited with a girl from church and every time I went she would tell me how much I looked like and reminded her of her sister.  Eventually I asked if she had a picture of her sister I could see.  She ran and dug one and out and brought it to me.  Needless to say her sister was not particularly attractive and somewhat overweight.  Now these were the days before I was a chubbo and although I don't think I am a great beauty or anything, I like to think that I am just slightly above average.  But it wasn't like I could say your sister is fat and ugly how do I look like her.  So I just ignored it.

In the many years since, people have uttered those same words and it always flashes me back to this time and I feel physically nervous.  My hands get sweaty, my stomach drops and I wait with baited breath to hear the comparison they are going to make.  Since then sometimes they have been good.  Once I was in Lowe's while two guys working there debated on whether I looked more like Holly Marie Combs or Alyssa Milano.  I deduced they were fans of the show "Charmed".  What concerned me there was not the comparison, because they are both attractive, but that those boys were both very familiar with the series.

Last night I was out with a friend though celebrating her birthday.  It was an eclectic mix of us, with lots of people who I had not previously known.  As we were listening to the live band, we are shouting in one another's ears to be heard over the music and I hear "She looks just like..."  I look up, knowing this is going to be about me, and shout "I hate when people say that.  I don't want to even know.  It always deflates my ego."  The guys were like no this girl is cute.  It's Sarah Silverman.  At first the name sounded familiar but there was no instant face that came to my mind.  They reminded me that she was a comedian.  I googled her with the technology of smart phones and once again, was disappointed.

I mean it's not as if she offensive looking, but maybe all these years I really have had an overinflated self esteem.  It doesn't help that my hubby is good to me and tells me I look like Katniss in Hunger Games.  A comparison I'll much more gracefully handle because although I don't necessarily see it she is very pretty.  So here's my opinion on the matter.  If you must compare me to someone please use someone who is more attractive than I am by a considerable amount so as not to bruise my ego.
On another note: eventually I found this picture of Sarah Silverman and if this is what they have in mind when they think of her than that is fine.  I will happily accept this one.

Friday, January 11, 2013

It Might Be...

For many years I've been dealing with social situations thinking, I think something is off about me.  Especially girl social situations.  I listen as all the girls talk and agree about things and think to myself these people are nutso.  They are like a whole foreign species to me.  Although most any social situation will leave me baffled about something.

I have joked with Travis that I am more boy than girl.  We'll both laugh realizing it is true in a lot of ways.  I am not very emotional, I don't need or even like going to the bathroom in groups, I would rather die than have to fake socialize through any situation, I'm not a dainty eater, and I would rather have two good friends than a hundred mediocre friends. 

For many years I chalked it up to living with five brothers and being on the younger side.  They were very male, machismo is the word that describes them perfectly.  I just assumed that I hadn't learned the girl code naturally in my younger years as others had.  But as I tried to learn these behaviors through college and on, I found I didn't really want to learn them and I found it was even bigger than just the girl situation.

Then while watching tv I watched an interview with a man who was adult, married and struggling within his marriage.  It eventually told of his diagnoses with being on the autism spectrum but not finding out until adulthood.  As I listened to him I could relate to many of his stories.  But I didn't honestly think it was me.  I mean I am functioning in society and my daily life just fine and my marriage is rock solid.

But then they told of a test, AQ.  It was an autism quotient test geared towards adults.  The average score was 16.4.  Most people 80+ % who scored over 32 were eventually diagnosed as autistic in some way through more extensive testing.  My curiosity got the better of me and I went to take the test.  My score was a 31, hot mama.  I really didn't think I was on the scale, but that score came back a lot higher than I had anticipated.

I'm still pretty sure I'm just a girl who was raised with a lot of testosterone, by parents who were and taught brutal honesty.  Between those two things I guess I may never fit in with the masses, but even if it never amounts to anything - I'm starting to wonder...is it me who is nutso after all.