Friday, February 29, 2008

My Gut Is Growing

Ahhh. Help me, my gut is growing. There is no baby either, which I know for me is but a small miracle. I feel I am always housing someone, but instead this time it is something - an unborn pouch of fat. I can't help it. Coming home to all these foods I haven't eatten in years, real doughnuts - yum, Faucnut day - how is that spelled? And all these foods that are rich in fat and lard, yes that's just fancy fat from animals. So that by the time I eat I am so excited I gorge myself on them, eatting them so quickly it isn't till I am done that I realize I haven't even tasted them. This problem is only compounded by the fact that I don't quite have a routine for me eatting yet, because every meal time is a busy time of day with feeding the kids, feeding the baby, etc... that by the time I sit down to eat not only am I famished, but things that normally I would have the self control to turn down or away I pig out on, stuffing myself to compensate for the hunger pains that have been there more than an hour. But alas the harvest is ready to reap and I sowed obesity and here it is. So starting a day or two ago, I started the sowing of taste, in hopes that I reap some sliming down. We'll see, but this gut is out of control and has got to go.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Maybe I Miss Utah Too, Bella

Bella is the most frequent person to say she misses Utah. Wyatt sometimes agrees. I insist upon emphasizing the good things about Pennsylvania, but to be honest there are things I miss too. I miss my house, which is now filled with renters who I fear are destroying it. I miss the entertainment center I had to leave behind because of no room on the moving truck. Good times were had - see picture. I miss my friends, my ward, my lifestyle, the sun. But no need to dwell. I do love Pennsylvania, the rain, the green, the people. So here's to starting over or new again.

This Will Have To Do

I don't know when I will get all my stuff to make this blog truly what I want it to be - a scanner, my old scrapbooks, my hard drive with all my files and photos - but until then this will have to do. I know there are typos and grammatical imperfections, but that's me and they aren't worth editing. Hope you all enjoy reading and it gets more entertaining.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

My Family is My Life

I never thought I wanted to be a mom especially the way my sister did, my great friend Emma did, or the way Mormom women do, but it is an amazing blessing. I am loving it and the small moments change me - sometimes for a short time, and sometimes for a lifetime. But before my husband and these kids I had my siblings and I have known from a young age that they are everything to me. I can't live without them. They are my best friends. So here is a shout out to the ones on either side of me. My brother, crazy man, who is the youngest (and girlfriend) and my sister who is right above me. I love you guys.

That Being Said...

There is something about an extra person that throws the whole family dynamics off. Many people know that with each birth of a child there is an adjustment period. Older siblings change to assimilate to their new role and sibling. For me these adjustment periods have luckily been relatively short, minor, and small. Here though it's weird. Two months later something is off and I can't pinpoint it. A million things are off and I know those, but there is something I can't define. This woman who is loving, tender, silly, and great causes a change in my kids. Not one I am totally in love with. For when she is visit her mom, at the temple for the day, etc... my kids revert to their old selves. The ones I am used to, love easily, and respond the way I expect they will whether good or bad. Maybe I am missing something else in the equation that is more ambiguous. Whatever it may be pushes me to find a house faster. Wish me luck!!!

My Mom is a Fabulous Grandma

Who knew? My mom someone who I struggled to get along with on the most basic level as a teenager and adult, granted I'm sure I contribute to that problem quite a bit, is a wonderful and loving grandma. She dotes on the kids with a love and attention I have seldom seen exhibited in my mom. She has always admitted a love for babies and small children. I am sure at one point she was like that with me, doting and loving, but as my childhood memories faded to make room for more recent memories I remember conflict and fighting. With few younger siblings to see it redemonstrated on I have never associated my mom with this woman of warmth I see before me now. She is tender with the kids, when I as mother need to be firm. She is silly with them when I am too "busy" to be silly. What a wonderful and unexpected surprise.

Make Me Crazy

I'm sure the people who read this blog know me and therefore know my flair for the dramatics when faced with the slightest challenge. So here I sit living with my mother, hopefully in transition for our new home in Pennsylvania, and all my stuff is in assorted boxes in assorted areas, storage sheds, the shed on our property, and the garage, with the minimal neccessities in the house unpacked. Good thing I brought my scrapbins in. And I am searching for my journal endlessly. Much to my chagrin it refuses to be found as if it has a life of its own. Or the cosmos has conspired against me to have a little laugh at how I will deal with my frustrations without my typical writing therapy. Or how long the little revelations of human life and character will be forgotten if I don't write down the things I observe as I watch humans interacting with one another, my favorite hobby. People are always shocked how much I watch considering my busy, somewhat discombobulated state myself. Amazing what a talent like multitasking can do for a person like me.