Sad, Happy, and Everything in Between

With the new school year starting in just a few days, I am feeling reflective and introspective.  I've learned at times of transition, I tend to be more thoughtful.  

Sad:

I am sad the kids are going back to school.

I will miss them.

I will be lonely without them.

I hate the early mornings.

The hectic schedules and filled hours with busy work.

I hate the shortening days, that provide little time for outdoor family fun after getting home at 4:45pm.

I hate seeing them stress about school, sports, seminary, and the other components of their life.

Happy:

But I am so happy for them.

They miss their friends and can't wait to return to see them.

They are excited to learn again.

To have a routine and schedule to their day.

Travis will still be working from home and so I will have unlimited access to him.

I will have separate and uninterrupted time to work on my school work.

In Between:

I can't say I am nervous about Coronavirus.  I wonder if I should be.  But I'm not.

School rules, regulations, and protocols seem unrealistic to follow through on, but I am encouraging everyone in our family to remain flexible, optimistic, and open minded.

There is a part of me that wants to stress out about all the unknowns, but mostly I still just have peace.

So may the odds ever be in our family's favor as we embark on the 2020-2021 school year!

We Interept This Broadcast...

Normally my blog is family bits that every two years get printed for our family archives.  It's filled with the happy, the mundane of daily living and the reality of our family.  And today we're going to cover that, but without the pictures and with a little more solemnity.

Our world is changing.  I am aware of this and so although the first time a bomb threat occurred in a school, I am sure it was alarming, but...how many ever years later, they are becoming somewhat run of the mill.  You see our school district, a small county school in the middle of Lancaster County - "Amish Country" south central Pennsylvania, hardly worth any mention has had these threats.  Mainly at the high school level and a few at the middle school level.  The first one was bizarre to me, but now they are an annoyance to my children and my schedule more than anything.  You see the instances of actual bombings in an elementary, middle or high school in the United States has actually been less than 10 - closer to 5ish, and so although that is 5 more than it should be, statistically quite small.

Well this year, a whole new phenomenon has taken place...the threat of a bomb in the elementary school.  Not just one, but four in the past month.  The first was shocking, astonishing even, but now honestly it has not only been a major aggravation, but a real eye opener as to the climate of our culture.  So why does it bare mentioning...well as PTO President, the response of parents has been very diverse, but equally intense.  Let me explain to you what I am seeing.

Bomb Threat 1 - shock, alarm, some fear, acknowledgement that child is probably unaware of the severity of the message and the associated repercussions

Bomb Threat 2 - shock, less alarm, general consensus of a copycat mentality, little children realizing that walking to another school to watch a movie can be fun, parental concern

Bomb Threat 3 - outrage, blame, fear, accountability, retribution

Bomb Threat 4 - utter chaos, emotional turmoil, polarization in every area

Now I am not an employee of the school, so all opinions expressed here are mine alone and representative of no one else.  That being said, I am in the school almost daily and consider the teachers not only cohorts of a sort, but personal friends.

So for every parent who is experiencing healthy emotions, thank you for your concern, worry, fear, annoyance, frustration - we (myself and others who spend the bulk of the day in and at the school) echo those feelings.  These events are not okay and we are not condoning the actions of the child(ren) at all.

That being said, those parents with hostility, anger and blame...I want you to know...that you take a hard and emotionally challenging situation and you make it worse.  Worse for the administration, for the teachers, for the volunteers, for the school children and for your children.  I have yet to see a single problem that was made better with the above emotions.

The administrators and teachers are doing their very best to put an end to this, they want these interruptions no more than you do and I guarantee even less.  They want to teach, they want to ignore the beauracratic nightmare of vetting these threats, they want to help the students who are performing these acts of threat and they want them to stop.

But the reality is this...it is hard to predict and prevent the instances of crazy that are becoming more commonplace in our world.  It is often what provides them with the label of crazy that makes them so challenging to identify.  Logic can hardly be prescribed in these situations and intent is hard to gauge.  More importantly, every action to try and stymy the actions of threat can be circumscribed, because the adaptability of humans makes it hard to control another's behavior.

So your angry emails, your accusations, your call to action, (note: each parent has a different solution and call to action that conflicts with another parents) your placement of blame - none of it helps.  It creates an environment of chaos, fear and distrust.  It pits the parents against the school as if they are both not on the same side of this situation.

Truly try to remember that this is not what anyone would want, so even if the response to this situation is not what you would do, trust that the response is motivated by the same interests as your own.  And last, please know that any information regarding this matter is private as those involved are minors.  Legally the school cannot release the names of individuals and disciplinary action.  And hopefully, even if they could, they would not.  Because from what I have seen these children, all age 10 and under, would literally be publically tried and executed if allowed.  That has been intensity of the response of the public. 

I truly believe that these children are not angry individuals who pose a real threat.  Like I explained to my kids, the materials, the knowledge and the ability to carry out a real threat greatly reduces the risk to you as so few, if any, in our school have access, motivation and knowledge to carry out these threats.  Theirs is a crime of stupidity and underdeveloped brains.  So please remember that these children need your support, your ability to teach them and your initiative to educate them so they know better for the future.

PS - Even as PTO President, I am not privy to the information, and even if I were to hear things, I would never disclose it in these circumstances.  You see I have always told our kids we are building communities of penguins.  Protect those who need it in the center until they are at a place where they can stand on the outer edge and protect the others in the center.

Now with one week left in the school year, I only hope and pray that this won't occur again, not only this year, but ever.  And if it does, remember patience and forgiveness go a long way to make the world a better place!

Crazy Time is Over

For two and a half months I run around like a crazy person starting the middle of November.  I get Christmas set up, we leave for Texas and spend Thanksgiving there.  We return just in time for Issac's birthday and party.  I furiously prepare for Christmas.  I make it through Christmas, do the post Christmas craze and plan for two more birthdays - Travis and Wyatt.  This year Candela came to visit too. 

But February starts my month of practically nothing and I love it.  It's the rest I need before heading into Spring.  But January wrap up included:

I have finally mastered cheesecake - cranberry cheesecake

Cinderella @Hershey Theatre with Boobaloo

Wyatt's birthday ice cream cake

Isa tries the skater vibe....

Kody finally decides he cares about school.  He starts bringing me A's.

He looses more teeth.  I had hope for Christmas so we could sing "All I Want for Christmas"

As Family History Consultant, I rolled out a new program for our ward.

I'm Getting Old

So over a week ago on Sunday, I started feeling a bit under the weather.  At first I thought it was because of a series of late nights.  I had just spent the weekend at my best friend's house and as you can imagine there were several late night talking sessions.  But my kids had been sick'ish' over the weekend and when I started getting worse I quickly realized that I was getting whatever they had gotten.  Mainly head cold but with serious flu like symptoms - muscle aches, serious fatigue, cold/hot sweats, etc...

On Monday, one child stayed home from school, two left for school saying they didn't feel great.  I was quickly deteriorating and then a call came from the school.  Another child had bitten the dust.  I put a blip on Facebook about not feeling great and the funk going around our home.  While online, I had read something about how moderate cardio can boost your immune system.  So on Tuesday I decided to try and do a slow jog to the gym for a quick workout and then back home.  But alas, I was past a little sick.  Upon arriving at the gym, I had met my match, declared this illness the winner and asked for a ride back home from the gym manager.  While doing this a friend had brought me this care bag and delivered it on my door step.  Luckily I still had two children at home to bring it in.

9 days later, I'm still sick.  Not as bad as I was, but still not great.  My husband says this is the sickest and longest he has seen me since we've been together - more than 15 years.  He hints that it's because I am getting old.  I worry it may be true, but I sincerely believe it is because more than ever I suck at taking the time and rest I need, despite his absolute assistance in trying to help me.  He did win "rock star of the year husband award" as three days in a row he went to work late, covering the morning grind and letting me sleep. 

Still this is what the past 9 days looked like, despite the sickness in my calendar:

• 1 last minute project and animal diorama
• 4 times helping in kids classrooms
• 1 oral surgeon phone appointment and pre-screen
• 3 times watching the neighbor's child after school and walking another kid home
• 1 abandoning of VT and make and deliver treats instead (can't spread the funk)
• 1 eye Dr. appt.
• 2 FHE's
• 1 waxing appt.
• 1 orthodontic consult
• 6 music lessons
• 4 kids' activities
• 1 St. Patty's Day with green and traditional food
• 1 library board meeting
• 1 lunch with friend
• 2 dinners for people who needed it more than me
• 1 oral surgeon consult
• 2 sets of Scouts and YW's drop offs and pick ups
• 1 Foster Meeting and Home visit
• 1 Family Visit
• 1 IU-13 Seminar
• 1 First Day of Spring and Rita's Visit
• 1 Easter Egg Hunt
• 3 Play Practices
• 3 Sessions of Stake Conference (Travis spoke at Priesthood Leadership, so I popped in there)
• 1 Puppy Spay
• 2 Violin sound tests, 1 violin purchase

and in case you think, I didn't cancel anything...

• 2 missed book clubs
• 1 cancelled RS event
• 1 abandoned HS Girls Night dinner
• 1 Missed Spaying Appt (while I was sick someone accidentally fed dog, surgery postponed)
• 1 decline on Service Bingo at Pleasant View Retirement Community
• 3 skips on morning routine
• 6 missed gym routines

and healthy add ins included:

• 6 early bedtimes
• 3 added naps
• 2 friends helping with drop offs and pick ups
• 1 friend delivering food
• lots of puppy snuggles
• and the best husband and kids to try and spoil me!

I'll survive just to keep seeing these smiling faces!

F(Ph)at Tuesday

Made 100 or so faschnauts with my friend.  Not only did I have a good time, but...took some into the kids' classes, took some to Travis's work and ate myself silly.  Wyatt's teacher had me explain the holiday since so few students knew its origins.  She then told me how nice it is for me to come in because not all of her students have as enriching lives as Wyatt's.  I love getting complements, just another form of positive reenforcement. 

And although they may be unhealthy and disparaged by others, I can't help but think this is just one more mommy memory my kids will have to tuck away in their childhood memory banks.  And guess what I'll fry dough any day to give my kids an enriching and happy memory filled childhood :)

My Life

My life is filled with tons of bitter and sweet moments, perhaps that is the life of every mom.  It seems normal to me anyway.  But more than anything lately I have been realizing that my life is one that moves in a totally different time dimension.  My days are slipping into weeks and years and I am thrilled with the direction we are going, but can only barely keep up a record of it through this blog. 

Sweet Moment 1 - Wyatt's artwork from school gets picked to be displayed in the district office.  It is a picture of an owl he drew with the words "Sometimes I feel like an owl when I am quiet."  His art teacher just raved about how introspective Wyatt can be.

Sweet Moment 2 - Bella is the 3rd person in her class to pass her multiplication test.  100 problems in 5 minutes.  She worked hard for this and I am proud.  Now onto division.

 Sweet Moment 3 - Stealing moments of family bonding time.  Before church on Sunday, we go in the afternoon, it was nice and so we went down to the school to ride bikes.  I can feel spring is soon here.

 Bitter Moment 1 - More and more I see these faces from the two older kids, the look of total disgust with what I have said or done.  Bella is starting to exhibit "teen behaviors" and it scares me to death. 

 Bittersweet Moment 1 - Kody refuses to wear underwear.  Some days I lose the fight but then I am rewarded with a cute bum surprise when he bends over and I can't help but smile.

 Bittersweet Moment 2 - After having a mentor of mine last year enquire why I let my sons have haircuts like Issac's mowhawk, no extreme hairstyles rule as indicated by the mission handbook and For the Strength of Youth booklet as a guideline, I had determined I wouldn't let my boys have those haircuts anymore.  Once again I lost the fight or gave in and cut Issac a mowhawk.  Only to find out from his teacher that he started a trend in his Pre-K and now there are four other little boys who followed suit this week. 

 Bittersweet Moment 3 - Travis, Wyatt and I working on Wyatt's Pinewood Derby car.  Travis and I are both pretty competitive and have very specific ways we want to do things.  So occasional friction, but mainly just good fun as we brain stormed our way through this process.  In the end Wyatt was totally thrilled with the end product so yeah!

 Sweet Moment 4 - Buying half a pig for the bargain price of $180ish and getting 83 lbs of finished meat.  That's like $2.20/lb.  But this meat is awesome and I have oodles of steaks, roasts, pork chop, bacon, ribs, sausage, etc...Happy day at our house.

 Sweet Moment 5 - The highlight of the week: with the addition of the pig, our outdoor freezer is packed to capacity.  We have 150 lbs of meat as well as strawberries, blueberries, rhubarb, peas, corn, and other store bought frozen veggies, pumpkin puree, bread, frozen premade meals, and quick frozen food for the days I am in crisis.  And on this same day I spent another $300 on food and officially finished our family's 1 year supply of food storage.  After inventorying, stocking, and reorganizing we have six months of normal food we eat and six more months of raw foods as outlined rice, sugar, flour, beans, dry milk, wheat, etc...  All that is left stocking up water. 

 Sweet Moment 6 - Wyatt attends the Awana Grand Prix, the equivalent of the Pinewood Derby.  He participated through going to Bible Study with a neighbor on Wednesdays until he turns 8 and starts our church's scouting program.  In his age bracket there were 36 entries and 68 total entries.  His car is the third one on the green track.

 Sweet Moment 7 - Kody cheers for Wyatt as Wyatt wins his heat.  He was in four heats and ended up coming in first all four heats.

 Sweet Moment 8 - Wyatt wins fourth in his category for best design of a car and 6th overall for fastest car.  Both earned him trophies.  And although it was super fun to build it together etc....etc....winning is still awesome.  I already told you I am uber competitive.  Let it go already!

Man life is filled with sweet moments as long as I take time from my time altered universe to recognize those moments.  Here is hoping each of you are taking the time also!

Just Another

So when 0 of 3 alarms typically set for a school day go off, it will lead to one manic Monday that started pretty crazily. What happened? Although my alarm was set I forgot I had changed it to another time for the weekend. And the two kids, well they just plain forgot. So when in my semi sleeping dream state, I think it's time to get up, I might just start listening instead of thinking, but my alarm hasn't gone off yet. And then later when I think in this same half lucid state, maybe your alarm hasn't gone off, but at least open your eyes and look at the clock it will come in handy to listen as I finally did. Because what should be a 6:30-6:40 wake up time quickly deteriorated to a 6:58 time. And when a bus comes at 7:15 that does not give you a lot of time. But with two fantastic kiddos and a flurried mess of activity anything can be accomplished at our house and so alas, my kids made the bus with breakfast, snacks, and homework all in hand. Kudos to me and the kids, I think this calls for some celebrating!

Back 2 School and Other Missed Items

Bella this summer finally conquered her bike without any training wheels.

I did too!

The last week before school started, we had Taste of Manheim. One of our monthly downtown type events. I love our city. All the restaurants and vendors bring out food for cheap and people eat, Bella's dance studio performed, and we watched a projected video on a 3 story inflatable.

The day before school started I took the kids to the park behind our house that just got finished about a month ago as part of the requirement for our HOA. We played and snuggled a lot that last weekend. Man I will miss those kids during the day.
First day of school giddiness and fashion statements. The kids picked their own clothes of course.
Bus stop reunion - the girls have missed one another this past month as we moms have been too busy to get together as often as we used to.
First day of Pre-K for Issac. Our school district has a Pre-K program. They meet everyday from 8:15-11:00. This will really help Issac get ready for all day Kindergarten next year.

Kody was home by himself for half his birthday. He helped me make his cake and lick the beaters.

Since he was the only one home, he got to sneak a cupcake before the b-day celebrations.

To help him wait to open presents till everyone got home he got to open his cards throughout the day.

Present time.

He is the world's best sword fighter. Three swords later he is one happy camper.

And last week I had another girls' night. It is always a good time catching up with friends.

Report Card Reviews

It is the end of the second marking period and we are halfway done the school year. Report cards came home on Thursday. Although my kids grades were fantastic, that will always fall second to the comments that the teachers make. My favorite tidbits...

"Isabella is an outstanding student. She is an independent thinker and brings interesting insight to any discussion..."

"I enjoy having Wyatt in my class. He comes to school ready to learn everyday..."

Although I love knowing that my children are smart I appreciate even more that they stick out among their peers for their personalities and good manners. I love that their teachers are so impressed that they almost always make comments on their report cards. Warm fuzzies of appreciation spread throughout me. I think I may be doing something right.

When Doughnuts Attack

I am calling and running around like a crazy lady this morning looking for non denominational yet festive doughnuts. A traditionally sane person may be rendered speechless by the absurdity of this comment. I was when I originally uttered it to the lady working both at the bakery of Weis and the old lady eavesdropping nearby.

I knew this comment needed further explanation so I began elaborating telling these women that I was my daughter's room mom at school. The go to helper, the planner of parties that are labeled by season instead of holiday for both seperation of state and religion, but sensitivity as well to different religious beliefs. I explained it was particularly important that I follow these guidelines because there are two Jehovah's Witnesses (I'll assume that is the plural, although I'm not sure) in Bella's class. It must remain religiously neutral or they cannot attend the festivities. Therefore I needed two dozen doughnuts that contained no jack o' lanterns, spiders, witches, etc... Now for the past month I have been frequenting Weis's bakery and they have had these beautiful doughnuts with orange frosting and fall colored leaf sprinkles on top. I thought they would be perfect. I didn't want to buy them too early only to go stale.

So last night after the ward trunk or treat I stopped in but they only had five left. I came back to Weis first thing this morning thinking I would have the best selection and could maybe get them to make any extras I needed before the party at noon. Well they had some this morning but they were all jack o'latern ones. I tried to explain the phrase non denominational doughnuts to the baker whereupon she gave me the deer in head lights look again. Well they only make doughnuts once a day. This was their selection take it or leave it. And closer to Halloween the baking staff assumes people want Halloween doughnuts so they make more jack o'latern ones. Long story short I found enough, several different kinds of non-denominational doughtnuts for the party, but different than I had originally planned.

Well two little boys sitting in their car cart are going nuts as I load twenty four doughnuts into two boxes and into the cart. The old lady eavesdropper says to the boys, "oh don't worry boys your mom will get you a doughnut. She wouldn't get that many for other little kids and not any for you." I am flabbergasted. This doesn't happen often. I find myself to be rarely flustered. Because although I had planned to get the boys jack o'latern doughnuts today, nine times out of ten I wouldn't have. Then the older women continues to comment on the nature of Kody's beautiful hair. Seriously not a day goes by that I go into public and don't get a comment on his hair. Not a day, since he was born, over two years ago.

I answered with a quick, "Yeah he's our cute redhead." And she says, "Oh- I wouldn't say his hair is red." I just assumed cataracts had gotten the better part of this woman's vision and let it go. We came home and the boys swapped their breakfast of pancakes that they had previously wanted to doughnuts and apple cider instead. Well these are smart children, what can I say. So it being a holiday I conceded. And that is when the doughnuts attacked the faces and fingers of my children leaving in their wake perma orange stains.

(now you tell me how far off this chemically composed orange frosting is from my son's hair)

(issac says kody you have a red mustache, i say red or orange, and he says orange, but then why are people always calling kody a redhead, touche my young padawon)

(so yummy you can see his uvula)

School Starts and...

I'm just going to start with the and to get it out there. I went into Costco this past weekend. Technically it was still August and all. What do I see but loads of Christmas stuff displayed: wrapping paper, Christmas tags, ornaments, pumpkin pie samples, etc... Seriously crazy people my kids didn't even start school yet give me a break. I love Christmas but what a buzz kill to my just finished vacation and relaxing weekend before school.School started Monday. I have a new kindergartner who had a partial day on Monday. Bella went full day. And then Tuesday they raced to the bus stop where they loaded together and unloaded at the end of the day. Where has the time gone. I love my little kiddos. But they sure look big to me in these pictures.

First and Last Day

Before and after shots are usually my favorites. It marks transitions, changes, and improvements. And so it is with Bella starting first grade. She was adorable and innocent and perfect in every way.
Before:
And now she is still adorable and perfect in every way, perhaps a little less innocent, but now she is a fabulous reader, good at math, and all around just a year older in so many ways. Each day she surprises me but in the most pleasant ways. My baby girl is getting older.
After: