Wednesday, May 2, 2012


Today at the gym a friend said to me, "You are so shallow."  Suffice to say there was disgust in his voice.  And to his benefit it was following my big reveal that I told Travis while we were dating that I didn't think I could marry someone who made less than $100,000 once he was established in his career.  To my benefit, I no longer believe that statement and I now know my idea of money was very distorted.

I'm a big proponent of there is never a reason to be offended.  In my mind it just doesn't fit.  I have often said, "People say things, they are either true or they aren't.  If they aren't - disregard what they've said.  If they are and you don't like what it implies, change.  If you're okay with it, then fine."  To me being offended reeks of insincerity.  Because truth be told when gym man launched "you are so shallow" at me, I had an initial reaction of shut up, followed by shock, and ouch.  I could have been offended, in my mind this is exactly the type of thing people would see as justifiable.  But...just as quickly I realized that after hearing the information he viewed it as shallow, well then according to his definition I guess I am.  And I either need to be okay with that character assessment or change what I don't like about what it implies. 

And so to every person out there I say:  Hi, my name is Mary and I am shallow.  I knew from a younger age that the things I wanted out of life wouldn't come cheap.  I knew that having lots of children, being a stay at home mom, traveling around the world, retiring young, and going on lots of church sponsored missions wouldn't be cheap.  Therefore to meet my life's goals I would need to marry someone who A) shared similar values and B) was okay with making money to support these goals.  Hence my future husband's earning potential assessment.

And in my self aggrandizing and madly delusional mind, I fancy myself a sorter, like Cassie from the book Matched.  Her natural skill set makes her a sorter.  She views large amounts of data and picks out the inconsistencies.  And I guess what I know to be true from my inflated idea of sorting expertise is that labels are a key part of making the work quicker.  They are not necessarily meant to be hurtful, offensive, complimentary or congratulatory - but a way of assessing data and categorizing information. 

So what's the purpose of this post - nothing really, I guess just another reflection of who I am and what I believe.  So if you're talking to me bring on the labels, I"m just saving the data for my gee whiz bank for use at a later date.

1 comment:

Christie said...

Funny...the word "shallow" has never come to mind when thinking about you.
But here are some labels that do!
Driven and Motivated
Doing everything at 100%
Dedicated to family and Christ