Holiday Wisdom

Today I had a visit with the Lady Dr. Another year come and gone and in the interest of no more children I have to do a quick stop in with her for a physical and pap smear to get more of my contraceptive medicine of choice. With that all set and taken care of she looks at me and says "Can we talk about your weight?"

"Sure" although there is a part of me cringing inside. She says when you first came here a year and a half ago you weighed four pounds less. My goodness who knew four pounds would initiate a conversation of this proportion. She says four pounds isn't a lot but if you start gaining it here and there it starts to add up. Well obviously. And what she says is nothing I don't already know and think.

But then she drives her point sufficiently home by adding and a year and a half ago when you weighed four pounds less you had a new baby, 6 months. Alright mental picture is sufficiently clear - I'm pudgy the whale. She asks, "Have you lost any of the baby weight?" Well no not really, but the truth is yes I mean at one point, nine months prego, I was tipping the scales at twelve pounds heavier than I am now. But after the initial 8 pounds of baby and a couple of accompanying fluid I guess the answer is indeed no I have not. Crap! How'd I miss that.

And she proceeds to question me about my eating habits, exercising routine, and lifestyle. In the end she finishes up with a healthy summary of the situation. Stop eating late in the evenings, take a couple extra laps on your stairs each time you scale them during the day, and park at the back end of parking lots, and open door manually instead of going through the automated ones.

Man she just dumped on my holiday happiness. I love Christmas, the family, the friends, and most importantly the eating. Already I am worried does this mean I should start watching what I eat starting today, the week before Christmas. Because that is where we are at, one week till Christmas. And this is when the wisdom hit me. Perhaps next year I will be going to the Lady Dr. one week after Christmas instead of one week before. So that when she wants to talk about weight loss strategies I'm totally on board. Because truth be told after finishing at the doctor's office I go to take Travis back to the office - he was watching the boys in the waiting room - and he is telling me about this huge cookie tray some subcontractor had brought in.

It was huge and yummy. And I had a chocolate cookie, a chocolate chip cookie, and four chocolate covered pretzels- yeah the first one was so good I stole the rest of those babies. It is at this point that I may have sputtered to Travis over my cookie filled mouth "Screw the Dr." But in the interest of watching calories a nasty piece of chocolate candy that I didn't like I hoisted onto Travis instead of finishing.

It's all about the baby steps right???

P.S. This is largely satirical. I am not really looking for the "you look great, Mary" or similar sentiments. I am holding to the holiday wisdom from here on out though. Seriously Dr. visit after the holidays.