I'm Still Learning

What I've learned in the past two weeks:

eating 2 dozen faschnauts in 4 days will impress/disgust everyone around you

eating 3 faschnauts before bed will give you a tummy ache

giving up naughty words for lent is really hard and expensive - think words such as dumb, stupid, etc...

thinking about hard things is sometimes harder than the actual thing itself

watching your parents cry is a very difficult thing for a child to observe

you really learn about your friends when something big happens

building a school yearbook on a less than stellar website totally stinks

when a parent says their child didn't receive a paper, when they clearly did, means that their life is crazy busy so be sympathetic

there is something freeing about making large decisions for future years when you know you won't be in charge anymore

a blue and gold banquets is just a party for cub scouts with a predetermined color scheme

i love flowers, bring on the wasteful spending

ward variety shows are a good time to be silly under the guise of sharing talents

having a near run in with the law is very scary

knowing that your child was gone for fifteen minutes and you didn't even realize it is scarier

having neighbors that recognize your wandering children is a big relief 

Unwavering Faith

Today my brother passed away.  When people ask how I am doing I say fine.  And really I do feel okay.  Sure I am sad.  I will miss him.  I have pictures of him throughout my digital albums, but mainly of us goofing off as a family.  This one, which I stole from his facebook account, is probably more flattering than mine.  But I can't help but feel okay because those pictures I have, he's always laughing and smiling and playing rough and tumble-like with one of his nieces or nephews.  And I guess these last months or so I missed him, that side of him.  My sadness has been increasing by degrees so that at this moment it isn't so overwhelming or crashing down around me.

And now that he is gone there is a small kind of relief.  I feel glad knowing that he's with the Savior and probably laughing and smiling once more.  I feel comforted knowing that he's probably still watching our family and will continue to.  Mostly I just feel an immense amount of gratitude for a knowledge that I have that life continues and goes on beyond this life and world.  That an eternity awaits us in heaven and that a great reuniting will take place another day.  With such unwavering faith in this principle alone, my grief feels manageable.  Love you, David!

Wyatt's Baptism

Sometimes it is so frustrating that on the most important days, where I would love to have thousands of pictures, I never have many.  It is just because I am so caught up in living in the moment, I forget.  But at least we caught a few of Wyatt before his baptism.  And even though we didn't get family shots, everyone looked super cute. 

Dear Wyatt,

How have you gotten so big?  How have you arrived at this momentous birthday?  How is it that I have another child turning 8 and getting baptized?  Man, I can't believe how proud I am of you.  Those are just a couple of the how's I've been thinking of.

I can't imagine life before you.  I really don't even try because each day since having children I have had so much more happiness.  In some ways you share the most special place in my heart with Daddy.  Although I don't have favorites each child claims a piece of me another can never claim.  The piece you claim has to do with how extraordinary you are.  So much like your dad.  So kind, considerate, loving, pleasing, without guile - just the best little man I've ever known.  You two could not be more alike if you tried.  And I love that my first born son is now the second greatest man I've ever known and I believe that someday you'll surpass your daddy to be the one of the greatest tied with your brothers of course. 

You are brilliant and I love to discuss things with you because I see your sponge brain trying to soak it all in.  Someday you'll be so smart, smarter than me, smarter than Dad and I love to watch it happening right before my eyes.  I love that you love school and your perfect attendance since your first day of Kindergarten makes you more excited than any good grade.  I love that every teacher you've ever had has oozed excitement about how much you love to learn. 

Today we celebrated your birthday, well I guess yesterday since I write in the wee hours of the morning of your birthday.  And all you wanted was to go to the temple and play around DC absorbing more of the culture and historical importance that exists there.  And that is what you are, a perfect mix of intelligence and spiritual belief.  I know you think you want to be the first missionary in China and if not there go to Japan, but I know that wherever you go, you'll be amazing- you know how to work hard.  And I love that at dinner tonight in preparation you practice using chopsticks picking up one piece of corn at a time. 

Could you be any more precious or special?  Probably not.  Thanks for existing.  Thanks for putting up with Dad and I as your parents.  Because we feel like the luckiest ones in the world.

Love, Mom

P.S.  Here are some of your memories of your b-day celebration and a special moment in your life lately - your yellow best testing and critique from your Sensei.

It's a Labor of Love

Due to tradition and desire, I made these six stockings. They are the same style as Travis's mom made for all of her kids, and many if not all of the daughter and daughter-in-laws have carried it on. They are gorgeous, really they are. And they aren't hard really - numbered felt, sequins, beads and some basic stitching/sewing technique. But these things do take a ton of time. And since I never work on them until after Halloween, I finally finished them all just before Christmas this past year. Just two years after I bought them. Don't you love them? I do.  And the finished product our fireplace mantel.  Each of the kids picked their design and even that is telling as to my children's personalities. 

Girly Noises

Bella this year has become very aware of the types of girls there are.  She has come home asking me if she is a girly girl or a tomboy? 

A couple of days after that she came home declaring she thought she was a bit of both.  I agree.
Likewise I would have classified myself the same way.  But alas apparently I am delusional.

Because while laying on the floor stretching the other day, I was informed by Travis, I love when you do that.  I asked, "Stretch?"  And he said, "No, make that girly noise."  Me "What?"  Travis "You make a little girly noise every time you stretch whether in the morning or whenever.  I just think it's cute.  It's one of the few super girly things you do."

This is the scathing look he received afterwards. For one, taking pictures of me stretching and, two, uttering inanities like the one above.

Because of You

I thought that I would marry late in life.  And when I had a family they would come much later too.  I thought I would be a "ball busting" career woman.  I thought I didn't need anyone to be complete.  I thought a lot of things. 

But on this day, 35 years ago, you changed all the things I unwittingly thought.  Because on July 11, 1999 I met you.  And I didn't need you to be complete, but I sure wanted you.  And I wanted to marry you immediately, even though I was 17.  I wanted to have a family shortly after that and I wanted my career to be a wife to you and a mother to our children. 

And so today I celebrate your life.  Because as son, brother, father, and husband you have made every person's life better, especially mine.  Thanks for being you babe.  Your just perfect in my eyes.

Happy Birthday!