Life Consultant and Wardrobe Coach

When I was living in Utah I had a friend who despite being gorgeous, put together, mom of five, business owner, and very well read had some trouble organizing small areas of her life - her office, walk in closet, and storage area in the basement. We had some kids the same age and play dates would often times end up in one of these rooms where I would start nitpicking and putting her things into a categorical order. I'm a neat freak. I love systems. My walk in closet has different colored hangers for different categories: skirts - pink, nice shirts - green, jeans - black, you get the drift. When totally organized hangers are two finger widths apart. Anyone could put my clothes away and instantly see the pattern - unless you are my husband, but I digress. I'm very anal about some things although I am not so crazy as the chick on Glee.

My friend would feel bad that I had spent so much time doing this, but I loved it and she was always happy with my new tips and the finished product that she would keep it going. In her gratitude she would offer me money, but I would decline. Instead she would get me some of my favorite things that I am to cheap to consistently buy myself: Victoria's Secrets Strawberry Champagne Shampoo, their Fabric Softener too, and other guilty pleasures. She would take me out to Red Robin and almost always pay. Blast her - she knew all my weaknesses.

After a bit, I started this with some other friends too. I was too proud to accept money and despite many people telling me I should do this as a business I declined. In good moral conscience I didn't think it acceptable to help my friends organize and categorize for money - it's immoral. Isn't this what friends do - help friends with the minutia of life. This was my gift and I liked doing it. They used their money to buy storage systems that I knew would work for them, they threw out things I told them to, and generally listened to my advice and this also made me happy as I am generally bossy and like to be listened to. My last reason for not wanting to start this business was that if I did this for a living I would then be expected to appear to have my life together at all times, my home clean and organized, my storage systems as well as life systems running smoothly at all times. This for me was a pressure I could live without. And so I happily continued doing it for friends for free or favors.

Well last night I was at a function. Our guest speaker was a Life Consultant or something equally ambiguous. Seriously life consultant...She spoke to our guests of honor, a bunch of graduating seniors, and gave them tips to prepare for "the real world" - a phrase that also would take another post to elaborate on. As she gave tips upon dressing, professionalism, and etiquette I was in awe. Here was a person who so obviously was not listening to her own advice. And often times I thought her advice to be pure mishmash. One such piece was that there is no room for stilettos in a professional world. Always wear a chunk heel. Now Fashionista I may not be, although I'm no slouch when I put in the effort. But shoes are my world and I wanted to shout from the rooftop. Instead I sat back and listened to a girl wearing an orange button down, too tight on the arms shirt, with a black vest that puckered at the buttons from strain, and a huge - seriously the size of her face- red flower accessory pinned right above one of her already ample bosoms talk about things such as nowadays not being too matchy matchy, always having one over the top accessory - but not too many, and the vast importance of properly fitting clothes. It was more than I could handle. I thought I would implode.

In the end I remembered why I didn't ever want to take my hobby, talent, and love to a professional level. Because I knew that people would look at me with the same expectation of perfection in daily living about something I professed to tell other people to do for money with skepticism about my true skills. In the end I felt reaffirmed that these things are a friend's job. It is a friend's job to tell you when you don't match, when you are too over the top, to tell you that no matter what you may think a eight inched diameter red flower is never appropriate to wear anywhere on your body, ever-not even for a Flamenco Dancer. It just isn't. And that although you don't need to be matchy matchy, you probably shouldn't put orange and red together, especially in the coral and blood shades. You need a friend to say I categorize my recipes in a book or a box, alphabetically or categorically. A friend to say I find that putting your most often used kitchen items in easiest reached cupboards, and less used items on the higher and lowest shelves. If we aren't doing this as friends now days, what are friends talking about and doing? Is there really a demand for a Life Consultant a Wardrobe Coach?