I am so sad it hurts a bit. Today I talked to a friend. She works for a publishing company. She knows I have been wanting to get back into that type of thing. I have started freelance writing a bit. But can't find much to do while staying home. Anyway she is moving and so she needs to hire someone to fill her position. She called me up and basically offered me the job. Although it is great and I want to take it, I still would have to work in the office at least 9-3 Monday thru Friday. Well of course that won't due with the kids and all. So I told her no, but thanks for thinking of me.
It hurts because I am at a crossroads where once again my goals in life conflict a bit. I can't very well be a publisher and a stay at home mom. It is like back when I was debating on going to grad school or having a second child. Each time the children win out, but I am still sad because I want so much in life. And my biggest concern is that when all the kids are in school and I do decide I feel good about going back to work, what are the chances that a great job just comes along and falls in my lap. And the idea of submitting a resume and interviewing again trying to explain that despite the ten year gap in career related work I am still good at it and really I could do it.
Oh well, I am still glad to be staying home though. There is nothing better than playing with the kiddos and blowing zerberts on chubby bellies and thighs and having tickling contests.
Love Bugs
3 months ago
3 comments:
Take it from me, a career ain't all it's cracked up to be. Seriously though, I know the feeling you're describing and it sucks. Like on the much smaller scale when you have been at home bored 3 weekends in a row and then you get invited to do 2 totally awesome things on the same weekend. You'll get a good job, it might take a little time but you will. And you might feel out of practice when it comes along but you'll warm up to it quickly.
I feel your pain!! Some days I wonder if it will ever be my turn to be an individual and focus on my gifts and talents again! I will, and perhaps there are missed opportunities that I can't get back- there will be other opportunities! It's okay that you struggle with passing up something for yourself for the good of the children. That's what makes us mothers... SACRIFICE!!! Not that we gave birth to them, but that we give so much of our lives to them- that's what makes a mother. Anyone who knows them, knows you are doing a fine job at that. Don't you worry, you're turn will come soon enough!
I feel for you. I have my degree now and have never done a single thing with it other than put the piece of paper in a box.
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