Sunday, April 15, 2012

Am I Offensive

On my last post, I had labels that included single mother and widow.  If someone finds my blog because they have googled these terms and are actually a single mother or widow, do you think that they will be offended because I am actually not what I claim, either single nor do I have a departed husband.  Well what can you do?  I apologize if this applies to you and you are offended.  That was not my intent.

What I learned this weekend:
First you need back story (Travis left on Thursday while the kids were at school.  I had prepped the kids for this and our upcoming diverting trip to the Poconos.  They knew once they got home on Thursday life would be busy with after school activities and packing for the trip.  We then left Friday immediately after they got off the bus and the car was loaded.)
  • I learned that keeping busy really does help you keep from feeling sad.
  • That pretending to be strong for others really can make you feel strong.
  • That diverting trips really can help smooth rocky transitions.

I also learned:
  • That half the time I repeatedly tell the kids to do something, it was actually Travis just doing it.  (this will be remedied quickly)
  • That there were quite a few tasks he had been doing, that were so habitual I never realized it, until they weren't getting done.  Think - kids packed lunches, trash taken out, the picking stuff up that was mentioned in the line above.
Last I learned:
  • That the kids will still be sad, no matter how much fun you pack in to distract them. 
  • Tiredness will exasperate this sadness.
  • And when you least expect it, it may just punch you in the stomach momentarily too.  (Stop fretting Travis:  it's already done.)
Things I'm keeping in mind for the future:
  • Remember the small victories.  I'll see Travis in 26ish days.  I can do that easily.  No need to think ahead and worry about the next few years. 
  • I have the best support group of family, friends, neighbors, and even acquaintances who have been offering to help when needed.  I appreciate all the love. 
  • A wise man who knows me better than anyone else once told me:  "you will be able to do many things, and you will not be able to comprehend how you could accomplish so much."  Here's to believing him.

3 comments:

Alisa said...

Wow, Mary. I do not envy you. Yet, I admire you. Travis needs you to be strong. Your children need you to be strong and most importantly, YOU need for you to be strong.
I have told you this before, but I think you are probably the most confident woman I know. I think that trait will get you and your family through this.

We Three Queens said...

After doing the single mother thing for over 14 years now, I can tell you that this will be a wonderful/trying journey for you. The distinct difference between the two of us and our journeys is that yours is temporary. Mine was permanent. Chin up. You are strong and will grow in ways you can't even imagine.

Laura Lynn said...

You can do it! Remember it's only temporary.

This was a familiar routine for us for so many years and even though I missed Jon, I enjoyed knowing I could pretty much handle anything. And knowing that I could handle anything at home made it easier for Jon to concentrate on work.

So many women have it tougher so I considered myself lucky. You'll do great.