Monday, October 15, 2012


Many of you have seen the pictures and I'm still being asked about my one night event with him.  So here's the story.  After this I'm not telling it anymore, because although it very well could have been the funniest night of my life...I can only tell this story so many times. 

Location:  The Jukebox (Lancaster County's most "love to hate" club)
With:  3 Fellow gym rats (Malin: beautiful, tall and skinny, blond Swedish girl - aka guy bait, Jess: fellow prohibitionist and hands down crazy good all night stamina dancer,
Courtney: my partner in crime, shameless, without fear or reservation bestie,
and myself - I like to think my role is finding the absurd for the night's laughs and ensuring everything for the evening is free (it's a talent) - aka DD and handler (when needed).
Time:  a nameless Friday night
Setting:  Pulling into the club we spot a Amish cart and buggy coming in behind us.

My girls and I are debating about whether this buggy is for real coming to the club.  After sitting in the place, me eating my for real disgustingly fantastic cheesy french fries and the girls starting with a round of drinks, scoping the place for any random cute guys.  I spot him, not so Amish looking, Amish boy.  I point him out to the girls and they are skeptical.  He looks normal minus the mused bowl cut.   My curiosity is making me crazy and so Jess walks over to ask if he came in the buggy.  He wondered how we knew and told her how he had been building his courage to come talk to us.  Alas introductions were made and the night began.  Courtney and I begin our inquisition to Ben, aka Sledge (he is a Mason by profession). 

I start by asking him the most important question of the night and that is if we can acquire a ride in his buggy.  He is flabbergasted that we really want to go.  I assure him we do, I also arrange to take the rides sooner rather than later as I figure drinking and driving applies to buggies as well.  We all get our hand stamped, pile out to the parking lot, and embark on our buggy rides, two at a time with Ben.  Court and I go first, taking non-stop pictures, almost taking out a mailbox, and dig around his buggy to find the most pimped out stereo system with satellite radio we have seen.  Next Malin and Jess go, while they are out and about security comes out to see what is going on and take pictures of us to put on their facebook page.  I use this opportunity to turn the photo tables on him and capture the picture Court had wanted to get earlier in the evening with this guy. 

On arrival back we head into the club.  Court in true fearless fashion asks Ben a million questions, preposterous, personal, and downright hilarious rapid fire for over an hour.  Most are Amish lifestyle related and many cause this poor Amish boy, a mere 21, to blush ferociously.  In case you ever wanted to know I learned that STD's exist in the Amish community, underwear is not stipulated like the outer clothing, a buggy can be pulled over for a DUI and Ben has a big black truck that is in the shop creating the dilemma of having to take the family buggy out tonight.

Long story short, Ben drank too too much.  Stumbling out of the place, barely able to walk, we put the kibosh on his attempt at driving home.  Problem - what to do with a horse and buggy while I drive him home.  Solution - Malin somewhere in her Swedish upbringing and past has driven a buggy.  She designated drove his buggy home found via his license.  I follow in the car.  And despite a brisk and abrupt start, and a drifting back occurrence at a steep hilled intersection with a stop sign we all arrived to Ben's house in one piece, where we helped him unhitch the horse and buggy and gear down for the night.  Then we piled into my car and laughed ourselves home.


Christie said...

Funniest story ever! We need to hang out more often so that I can have craziness to share with everyone.

candice said...

Your plan to become a millionairess would happen much faster if you would follow my advice and have your own reality show!!! Who does this happen to? Never me... only you!!! You could get endorsements, consulting bonuses because of your broad shoulders, etc. Having Travis work a million miles away to accomplish your dreams is going about it ALL WRONG!!! love you!