Catchy Crap Phrases

"If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." As well as being grammatically defunked, I absolutely abhor this catch phrase. It doesn't reflect upon mothers kindly and for all the men who have told me of its flattery regarding the power of women within the home, I say poohy. If you want to speak to the power of women in the home, there are a million ways to do it, none less clever than by simply changing the phrase to, "When mom is happy, everyone is happy." But no, that wreaks of lies and insincerity as much as the first statement.

So let me enlighten you all to what I think. Because as my husband said to me the other day, "I didn't think there was anything you didn't have an opinion on." Moms are not mind nor mood controllers. I can't force my children to be happy any more than I can change the weather. I can't make them be pleasantly dispositioned children if they are prone to mood swings and last I don't want to have that responsibility, because quite frankly that would be scary.

What I have found is that mothers are simply a barometer for the family. They let you in on the pressure and attitude of all the members of the family. If trouble is brewing, moms all across the globe are starting to have anxiety, and if there is open conflict and unhappy feelings, mom is not going to be a happy camper. You find me a mom who has a happy husband and happy children who is unhappy and I will show you an mentally unstable woman.

So if you see me walking around all moody like, you can guarantee that I have a child who has been crying every minute since the moment he woke up two hours ago, and I can't figure out what's wrong. You can deduce that I am stressed beyond belief because I feel like a failure as a mother because I can't figure out this dilemma nor solve it. And if I happen to side swipe your car's side mirror as I am driving down a narrow road because I am so mentally obsessed with stress about figuring out what to do, then I am sorry, especially you - Mr. Red Ford Truck Man from this morning.