I Miss My Friend

In Utah I had two very close friends. Despite my very social nature, I tend to often surround my self with one, possibly two very close friends. At certain periods in my life friends have rotated in and out of this position based on location and stages of life, but I am just not someone who is close to many people at one time. After moving into our home in Utah, quickly we made friends with Jennie and John. It's very weird how it all came to be really. I don't remember how it started or our first social experience. I think they might have invited us over, but it was natural and easy.

Quickly her and I became best friends. For as outgoing as I was, she was shy. For as patient as she was, I was antsy. She was the female version of Travis and often times we joked that her husband was the male version of me. It worked well. When we met she had just had her third boy and I had Bella and Wyatt. We both came from big families, wanted big families. We had similar parenting styles and strategies. Eventually we continued to have kids together. Each time one of us would announce a pregnancy, the other within a month or so would announce theirs as well. Eventually we ended up in a primary presidency together. My other close friend materialized by being in this presidency with us. Previously I had not known her very well. Between the three of us we had three babies. We kept a spare port a crib in the primary closet, which was the size of a walk in closet. And shuffled babies amongst us all Sunday long as needed.

We raised our kids together for four years. Our kids played well together and never seemed to tire of one another. Many days we spent sharing lunch, meeting at the park, or ending up in presidency meetings that would end and we would linger with one another until nap time. Our kids ended up in the same preschool and same Kindergarten classes. But what I miss about her was our fierce closeness. I could share my every insecurity with her and she would soothe my ego and emotional fragility into a state of confidence and poise. I never felt competitive or jealous when around her, because being in her presence naturally made me a better person. If ever I needed a break from my kids, I could call her without thinking twice about it and gladly she would swoop in and ease the burden. For me this is monumental because my pride often prevents me from asking for help.

Our spousal friendships were as good as our friendship and we shared a couple of date nights and family home evenings with one another. The picture above is when we took the their four wheelers and motorcycles up to Hobble Creek Canyon and spent that family home evening riding around the mountains and enjoying nature. We went to the BYU basketball games, sitting in VIP seats, thanks to Jennie's Dad, where we basked in the sweat of the players, the somewhat offensive mouths of the students behind us, and semi shared company of L. Tom Perry. And although these were awesome experiences, I miss Jennie. I miss her being three blocks away. I miss the accumulation of these experiences shared together. I miss singing 867-5309 to her as she laughs at me. I miss seeing her several times a week. I miss talking to her. Heavens knows neither of us are meant for long distance relationships. I miss her and I miss that I haven't found anyone to take her place even after two and a half years. I'm starting to think that she may just be irreplaceable.