Change

Times are changing. I am going from a night to a morning person. At 27 this seems like an odd time for it to happen. I thought that after I became a mom it would happen naturally, but seven years of motherhood and only now has it started. Travis has always been a morning person and when we were dating it was the source of a conflict or two as he explained to me I was wasting my day with sleep and I explained to him my day was as long as his but just different hours. In our early married years I showed him the joys of sleeping in and he became a sort of convert. He loves Saturday mornings when he sleeps until 8 am.

For many years I continued to sleep in though, really sleep in. I trained my kids to sleep in. It was after nine before they woke up for the first few years. And still around time changes I get to relive these years. But for the most part they wake up shortly after 8 now. But Bella and I get up at 6:40 for school and the day. And at first I dreaded it, hated it, counted the days for summer vacation more than when I was in high school, or at least that is how it felt. And then with naps my kids are excellent but where other mothers have naps between 1-3, I pushed mine back as far as I could getting them from 2-4:30. This was a habit that worked for our family. And once the kids were back in bed by 8:30 Travis and I would spend the night on the couch cuddling to our favorite DVR'd shows until falling into bed between 11 and midnight. Well for an early person this wasn't working. He does fine and claims it doesn't bother him but what he is really saying is that I'd rather spend time with you than sleep. A great sentiment and as the reciever of such a compliment I glow with the attention. But if he intends to be awake every hour I am awake I know what he needs and I know what I need to do. I need to become a morning person. And because I love him it's an easier transition.

I realize that I have been becoming a morning person all these years but instead of embracing it I have been fighting it. Because each early hour I am awake is just an additional hour I am awake without Travis. And that hurts. I hate when he goes to work and I hate when we are away from one another. I love playing with our kids, but playing with our kids when it is the both of us is an ethereal experience. He makes everything better. And when I needed naps to survive little babies and nighttime feedings I found that when I woke up I was upset all over again knowing it would be hours before Travis got home. Where when I had pushed naptime back I had enough time to wake up, make dinner, and he would be home. Never before have I needed someone like I need him. He makes me someone special and so spending waking hours without him just seemed miserable. But now...I know he needs me. He needs me to force us to go to bed early. He sleeps about four and a half hours a night. Has been doing it for the past year. And I want to be the wife who takes care of him even when he doesn't realize what he needs. So rolling out of bed a little after seven Easter morning wasn't that big a deal. And doing it again yesterday and today is just a little easier because instead of having a reason to sleep in I have a reason to get up. This guy is my best friend and I would rather him feel great than me avoid dealing with a little lonliness when he is gone. Twenty seven years and only one true love will change this girl and her sleeping habits after all.