In Other News:

At the beginning of September we got new cell phones.  Yay!
Then the next week our computer crashed - boo!
We've spent almost a month trying to retrieve the data - double boo!
And it's going to cost us a small fortune - triple boo!
But having my vacation pictures back and all my documents for PTO, WCM and random stuff is double yay!

The York Fair

As a child, I thought this was about the coolest place ever.  It is America's First Fair, just in case you didn't know.  It will be 250 years old next year.  There are rides, games, food and exhibits and sadly an admittance fee.  So when I was younger my parents would take us once usually each year.

Each year, I hear about the York Fair, even though I live almost an hour away.  This year I decided to take my kids.  Well there is still an entrance fee and so $50ish later we were all in and had done nothing.  We looked at exhibits, walked around, the kids had brought some of their own money to spend how they chose. 

I finally realized why my parents weren't that big of fans.  It wasn't that great as an adult.  Everything was exorbitantly priced, some of the people there were a little less than savory, and I can only enjoy walking around spending oodles of money on crap for so long.  But I'm glad my kids got to go.

The stuff I did like though was the candy display, the model exhibits and the butter sculpture and I guess the small zoo - I mean there is nothing like getting a picture with a zebra's butt.

Mantra Maven

I love a good mantra, a motto, a catchphrase - what have you.

I believe in the power of positive messages and self fulfilling prophecies.  So it is with beliefs that I have spent my adult like coming up with them for myself, for my family, whatever.  When our children were younger we made family ones.  They have changed over the years based on our needs but the two that remain through all the years have been...

1.  Whitings can do hard things.
2.  We don't say can't, we say what can I do?

Then as my kids got older and I decided to reclaim some of my time and body, I returned to my love of sports and working out.  I was frustrated to see that some of my previous inherent talent and abilities had decreased or diminished.  As I started working out again and was faced with something tough, my mind would ring with the words "you are a tough beast, you've got this".  Today I like to think I am in pretty good shape. 

As the years have gone by I have adopted new ones to suit my current needs or goals.  Just this past month, I created a new one.  The older I get the more involved I become in activities of my children, of my church, and in my community.  I interact with all different kinds of people.  I have felt frustrated to see they are so different from me, usually not in ways I like.  I have always respected and admired how patient my husband is.  So after careful thought, I have come up with...

1.  I am a tolerant, patient and kind person.

Whenever I think an uncharitable thought, feel myself becoming frustrated or overwhelmed, I say these words to myself.  Depending on my level of angst, they can be said many times and sometimes audibly.  Travis has laughed as he has seen me a time or two muttering these words to myself.  But that's okay, because it's worked every other time.  I feel confident it will work this time again.  So coming soon to a neighborhood near you, please welcome Mary, a tolerant, patient and kind person.

My Heart Breaks...

Today I ran into an old friend whom I hadn't seen in a bit.  She hugged me, told me I looked great, asked how I was.  I likewise turned around and inquired the same.  I knew she had recently had a job change and I inquired about that.  She said, "Oh - you haven't heard."  Well she told me the story.  It was that she had an affair, had gotten caught, lost her husband, her home, her life.  Add to that she had cheated with a coworker's husband.  Needless to say the job change was needed.  After she quickly asked, "Please don't judge me.  I respect you too much and hope you still think you can like me."  I replied of course I still could like her.  And I wouldn't judge harshly, as I had done innumerable things I regret and wished I hadn't.  Her remorse was overwhelming and all I felt was a deep sadness and a little despair. 

This is a lovely person.  And I know nothing about the events that led up to this event or about the inner minds of those involved.  I do know the coworker also and my heart broke for her too, because even though she didn't tell me - I'm sure her heart is broken and she feels shame and/or embarrassment too about the whole situation.  As I left, I couldn't help but worry about every person involved.

Next my mind turned to the many couples who I know who are currently struggling in their marriages.  Two friends of Travis and mine are separating or want to.  I don't know what to tell them, how to help them.  I wonder if I should be worrying about my own marriage.  It seems like all around my the collapse of relationships and families are occurring.  And as I hear about or see these things, words from The Family: A Proclamation to the World come to my mind.  The family really is the fundamental unit of society.  With its destruction, our societies corrode and values and morals become harder to teach. 

I hope my husband and I have done enough and are doing enough.  I hope the base of open communication will allow us to express problems to one another early on that we can work to overcome.  I hope that our commitment to one another and to our own morals will help prevent us from possibly falling into these types of traps.  I hope, I hope, I hope for everyone, everywhere...that as they face these types of decisions in their lives and their marriages that they are guided and inspired on how to act and what to do and that they follow those good inspirations.

I love the family, my family.  More so this year as we study the Proclamation in Primary.  They are an eternal unit.  This concept has been foreordained by a loving Father in Heaven to help us succeed here on Earth, because he loves us.  So if you are reading this, think of the good things.  Think of the positive, tell your spouses how much you appreciate them, love on your children, reconnect with those in your family you have become estranged from.  I implore you, because my heart doesn't like to fell this kind of useless hurting.

I Am...

I am not rich.  I am not poor.  Somewhere right in the middle, I suppose.  I'm not going to lie, I have great hopes of one day being rich.  I have amazing credit, low interest rates, no consumer debt and I'm saving for the future - my kids weddings, missions, college and our retirement.  I often and mostly easily forego the things I want now for the payoff later of being rich someday.  My couches until recently were bought for $50 from a college apartment complex that was upgrading over 10 years ago.  Recently they were moved to the basement and upgraded to a friend's that she was getting rid of, an interesting shade of green but technically in better shape.  I have wanted white tight leather backed couches for at least 7 years.  I have had a set in my Amazon shopping cart for over a year, waiting....waiting...

I love my cars.  We have two ten year old Hondas, one Pilot and one Accord.  Both are great with gas mileage, notorious for lasting oodles of miles, economic in every sense of the word.  The Pilot, mainly my car, has 190,000+ miles on it.  It works great, runs great and meets my every need.  So despite my brother being a car salesman, one of my best friend's owning four car dealerships and living in the city with the world's largest auto auction and having lots of chances of upgrading - I have not.

Last month, while traveling to a remote area, my GPS took me on a "road".  After going about a mile down this dirt road, it further deteriorated to a river bed and hardly a 4-wheeler trail.  So bad in fact that I made a 20 point turn back around and determined to find a bigger road to get to the place I needed to go.   Along the way, I felt the bottom scrap and heard occasional heart breaking thumps despite trying to take it slow and find my way out of this predicament.  Each time I flinched praying nothing series was getting damaged.

Shortly after this experience the car started leaking oil, super annoying.  I was feeling pretty grateful though.  Surely, my super handy husband could fix an oil leak.  I was thanking my lucky stars.  After he looked it over, he determined that the leak was in a hard to get to place and likely would require dropping the transmission.  We took it to a shop that we have used for 7 years and love.  They know my husband is a "motorhead" and will often give us a second opinion or diagnostic for free if he can't figure it out on his own.  Today they did just that, confirming his suspicion and adding that they may even have to drop the engine too. 

They weren't interested in doing the work due to the scope and scale of the project and referred us to the dealership.  We were given a rough estimate of the work and a guess as to what the dealership would charge us, $3000.  Be still my flaming heart.  I was thinking like $300.  Yeah I'm not a car person.  My heart was broken, my spirit snapped.  I questioned why I keep sacrificing what I want when I feel like I end up never getting as far ahead as I want or think I should be able to.  I moped a bit, complained some, and tearfully explained my frustration to my husband when he got home and I related the quote.

Then something remarkable happened.  I remembered that we have the money to cover this in our savings, we have never even remotely been hungry, homeless or poor.  It may not be how I want to spend my money, but all of my choices have gotten me to the position where I am debt free and sporting cash for the repairs.  Then my VT's and friends came over.  I told my story once more, with less self pity this time.  They sympathized and related.  They had actually come bearing belated birthday gifts for me, a dozen doughnuts, caramels and an Amazon card.  I doubt it's going to be enough to cover the couches, but it was enough to change my attitude that final bit back around to my happy-go-lucky self.

I have a lot.  I have friends that I cherish, family who I adore and finances enough to cover what they must.  Both my husband and I have educations that will support us.  I have a husband who has never struggled to be employed and has done so successfully even with our passel of kids. I have the chance to stay home and raise these sweet little kiddos.  But best of all, I have this amazing attitude that refuses to be brought down by life's burdens most of the time.  I may have been in a funk for a few hours, but I am a fighter, indomitable.  And I guess of all the things I have, this is one of the best.  This is where my happiness and joy comes from.  I am a person who is grateful. 

Born to Be at the Beach

From as far back as I can remember the first week of every August was spent at the beach.  My mom told me from a young age that the only time they missed was the year I was born.  You see, my birthday falls on July 27th, and she just wasn't feeling up to a beach trip less than a week later.  What a slacker she was :)

Now take that and add my adolescence of my mom's best friend having a beach house in the Outer Banks.  So a couple more trips each year.  And last add the fact that once my friends and I got our licenses, we would jam down to the beach any spare day we could throughout the summer.  You see we live within three hours of at least 10 beaches.  It's sort of awesome.

Skip ahead modern day.  Imagine the first family vacation I started instilling in my kids.  Yeah it's the beach.  And even with my ever changing kid ratios, notice who jams down to the beach any free day throughout the summer and any time a friend or family member comes to visit.

You see, I need a beach house.  My own.  I keep telling Travis and he keeps saying not yet.  Maybe you should try and convince him.  Until then...I'll just enjoy the memories of quick trips and occasional vacations.

Build A House

One of Bella's projects this year for OMEGA was to build her dream house to scale. 

Since then she has already rethought her project a dozen times,

but this was the finished project months ago. 

Notice she likes a modern look with flat roof and lots of sky lights. 

Can't wait to see what her house looks like some day!