That's A Wrap

Another month in the history books. 

Sometimes I question if I am living or surviving. 

Then I remember how happy and fulfilled I am, just busy - which I would rather be than bored. 

May is over, but here were some highlights:

 Mother's Day

 Such sweet tender care of Owen.

 Raising and releasing trout in 4-S this year!

 High School Girls' Night

 Finally the weather got warm

 Kody won the game ball

 Trixie loves a good car ride

I changed my hair color.

 

What did you do in May?

Winter Blahs and the Food That Comforts Me

 

 The winter blahs have officially kicked in.  What to do?  What to do?

Start power-lifting again.  Set new goals.

Get my hair dyed red!

And eat myself into a food coma.  No wonder I gain weight in the winter. 

Some new and old favorites.

On My Mind

Yesterday during fast and testimony meeting at our church, one mother bore her sweet testimony of the power of prayer.  And that even when we pray for certain things, Heavenly Father may not take away our trials but he still answers our prayers usually by blessing us with support either through family, friends or otherwise. 

My husband looked at me and asked if I was okay - knowing that this particular topic is close to my heart:
1.  Because I have always had a very close and open communication with my Heavenly Father and each time I contemplate on it, I am moved to tears with feelings of intense love from him, and...

2.  Because I feel like this woman was referring to the struggles and trials that she is facing with her son, 3, who has a sensory processing disorder, on the scale of Autism.

This is a something our family has faced as well.  Many don't know, but Kody was diagnosed with this same disorder when he was about 3.  We were told that the behaviors that were causing me so much angst would mellow out through learning to communicate, age and structure but that this would be our reality for the remainder of his life. 

After some traditional intervention, alternative treatment practices, Priesthood blessings and two years, his behavior had changed enough to not register on the spectrum at all.  Professional assessors looked on in awe and I was repeatedly told that this couldn't be.

Fast forward to present day...Kody is in first grade, the youngest in his class.  You see his birthday is after the cut off date, but we felt like he was academically ready and as behaviorally and emotionally ready as we could reasonably expect.  This decision in and of itself has rendered me praying in the car, on my knees, late at night and a million other fleeting thought pleading prayers.  To say that I know the decision I made was the best one or even the right one would be a gross overstatement.  I remain as unsure as ever. 

And now to why I am prompted to write. Today as I volunteered in his class as I do every Monday, I helped administer/proctor for standardized testing with rigorous rules and procedures.  I watched helplessly as Kody tried hard to take this test and do his best.  The test starts easy and like most get progressively harder.  The kids worked through sections eventually independently and at their own pace.  Some kids knew all the answers.  Most didn't.  Many who realized that they didn't have all the answers finished by making their best guesses or filling in any random answer with much leisure and laissez faire. 

Kody's nature would not allow him to do this.  I watched as his anxiety level ratcheted up, I watched him tear up in class over his emotional angst of not knowing everything and I watched as he consistently would try to refocus his waning mental energy to finish this test.  I had to turn around to hide from everyone, but most importantly Kody, my own tears.  Travis laughed as he saw my reaction telling me how ironic it is that nothing makes me emotionally upset except for when I see those I love hurting.  And it's true.  And all today I have been left with the impression, what caused him to feel such stress:  Is this a byproduct of me sending him early and too much pressure, the undiagnosable but still ever present residual issues/behaviors he faced at three or the idiosyncrasies of his red hair and all of those accompanying stereotypes.  All of which I see the effects of with some regularity.

You can only imagine that I said a prayer or two today for him to feel comfort while at school.  I was thrilled to see him bounce off the bus happily.  But when we started to do spelling homework, I was frustrated but not surprised to see him openly defiant about practicing writing his spelling words.  And as I watched Travis try to use traditional means to coerce him into doing it, I knew that this was going to end up in an all out impasse.  It was then that an idea came to me.  I called Kody over with a calm that only years ago would have totally eluded me.  I offered alternative and fun solutions to writing his spelling list and landed with a huge success on shaving cream drawings.

And that's how we ended up in my bath tub making shaving cream palates that we would use our finger to carve our words into.  Once done, we would wipe the foaming cream around more and rewrite.  He happily spelled his whole list twice and we got some good bonding time in as I dabbed the shaving cream on his face and he spread his in my hair.  And this is when I remembered the testimony from yesterday.  My every burden hasn't been removed.  But I have felt the support of my Heavenly Father as I have watched my previously totally impatient self learn to be lots more patient and my structured and traditional self morph into someone with bits of creativity when needed.

I don't know what Heavenly Father has in store for this precious little boy.  He is his son after all, not really mine.  I just have him on consignment.  And I can't shelter him from every hurt and pain and my type of parenting doesn't even feel like that is the best way to go, but it still feels awful sometimes.  And then I remembered the lesson of another teacher at church yesterday.  He showed the children two blank pieces of paper folded multiple times.  One had no challenges and when returned to his Heavenly Father was lovely and just the same as the way he came, but the one that had been cut away and carved out from the trials of life when opened up turned into something more beautiful, an intricate snowflake.

I don't have all the answers.  It isn't always easy, but I do have a Heavenly Father waiting on hand to bless me with what I need and to inspire me with brilliance to help those I love. I couldn't feel more gratitude if I tried.

Shocking

Most people think I have straight hair.  It wasn't until I had lived in PA for three-ish years when I came to the bus stop and my neighbor asked "Is your hair curly?"  I remarked that I didn't think it was curly but it definitely wasn't straight.  She was surprised since my hair is usually straight or in a knot of some sort.

She said she liked the curls and that I should embrace them more.  I agree that they are pretty but in a state with so much humidity, it can go wrong oh so fast.  But I was surprised I had kept this fact, unintentionally, pretty well hidden.

I decided to photo document my hair pretty au natural.  This was a morning I woke up after showering the night before and going to bed without doing anything to it. 

P.S.  The color here is not so au natural, but pretty great still the same, eh???

The Culture of Red

Since September 1, 2007 I have heard more about red hair than I ever cared to know. This was the day, my very own redhead came into the world. It shocked me to hear while the baby was crowning the Doctor ask, "Where's the red hair come from?" At the time I didn't know. It was only later that I found out that my paternal grandma had been a redhead long before I knew her in the days of fabulous wigs - oh to be wealthy and eccentric.

Each day after that first fateful day, I could not leave my house and not hear someone comment on the status of my son's hair. Truly the boy will be three in less than 3 short months and I don't think I have every gone out in public and not had someone say something. Often times I am confronted with the question "where does the red hair come from?" Depending on my mood and tiredness level my response varies from "The milkman" to the explanation that my husband grows red facial hair as well as my grandma being a redhead with several siblings with auburn tones in their hair. Obviously it is on both sides of the family, gentically speaking or this child's hair would not be, so I am often confused by the actual question or more accurately the person asking it.

Most presumptiously once while not in the mood to discuss my son's hair color I replied "I don't know" to the question. This woman looked at me and I started to feel guilty for being short and rude and ammended my response to include the long version of actual events including but not limited to my own surprise. In turn she responded something to the effect, oh so he wasn't switched in the hospital at birth. I had not previously thought of that but was still amused at her readiness to share her skepticism of his genetic origins.

Since all of this madness I have heard many facts and myths about the redhead population. They are almost a cultural group of their own with their own genetic strengths and weaknesses. So here are some of my favorites:

• Red hair is a genetic mutation, it emerged 50,000 years ago in Africa, the gene discovered only in 1995.
• Scotland has the highest redhead population (13%), next Ireland (10%), and USA (2%) and one of the least recorded France with (.002%).
• Redheads are harder to sedate requiring 20% more anesthesia.
• It is the most commonly picked home hair dye color with 30% of home dyers picking it.
• The fat of red-headed men was a key ingredient in deadly poisons 400 years ago.
• Less than 4% of the world's population is naturally red headed.
• Bees are thought to sting redheads more.
• They are usually fair skinned, burn in the son, have freckles, and an increased risk of skin cancer.
• Redheads tend to bleed more [different clotting factor] and have more allergies.

After all of those facts, largely discouraging, I found these:

• Redheads have fewer hairs on their head than blonds or brunettes, but their hair is almost always thicker.
• They don't turn grey, but turn a sandy color and then white.
• They loose their hair color later in life than most people.
• It is said that some real redheads have turquoise eyes.
• Redheads have more sex and more sexual partners.

Most widely known is the held belief that redheads are thought to have short tempers, but no one has ever seen a controlled study that tested the correlation. I never believed the stereotype before I had my very own redhead, but I must say that now I am a definitive believer. After talking with some teachers I found my opinion to be shared by most people who deal with children regularly. It may be the topic of my thesis when I go back to grad school. In the end I have learned that redheads really are a fascinating bunch if for no other reason than the shear attention they garner wherever they go. And to my very own special redhead, I love you buddy. I never pictured you before you were born, but you are constantly in my thoughts now and I can't live without you and all that crazy red hair.