It's been a while I know. Despite the weekly alarm that goes off in my phone alerting me to post on my blog, it hasn't happened for some time and only 3 times this year. It's not that I don't think about it and practically write word for word the posts in my head, editing them as I think them out, but that I never seem to have the time to actually write them down. It feels far too indulgent, but I write them in my head nonetheless hoping that the time I am actively thinking of them will solidify the memories, the feelings, the thoughts that I am having. So that one day as I look at a picture or someone brings up a story, I am flooded with it all again.
Realistically I know that reality is a bit far fetched for an aging mind, let's be honest it's a bit far fetched for my current somewhat aging mind. If I can barely remember a load of laundry I put in the wash only to find it two days later smelling of mold and funk, I can't expect much. So that brings me to one of my goals for this year. But I am rushing ahead of myself, like always, my energy and enthusiasm is always just a bit ahead of all the other.
So let's start with a Happy New Year everyone reading! Hopefully you had a great Christmas and you are excited about what the future holds. I know I am, but I always love a good start, it holds all the promise and passion for the future. This past week or two I have contemplated on so much. Trying to prepare some resolutions for the New Year makes me both reflective and introspective as well as visionary and ambitious.
As I have pondered the past year, I have felt overwhelmingly grateful. We have been blessed in a million ways, but the most important one is my ability to know why we are here in Texas; it may have taken almost three years after my first impressions came and two years and change after making the move, but it has come. I'm sure everyone would love to hear some miraculous story, wrapped in a neat package with clear beginnings and ends, but my story is far less neat in the packaging, but still just as miraculous, though much harder to explain. Suffice it to say, a bunch of experiences have shown me that this move, these changes, have forced myself and our family to grow in ways that would have never been possible had we remained in the status quo of our old life. Seeing that growth in yourself and kids is the miracle, but I admit that unless you are privy to the nitty gritty details of daily living, it may be largely impossible for outsiders to see. In addition to that, I have been blessed with a handful of friends here that have helped shape me and a lot of those changes, and it only stands to reason that those changes in me have led to some changes on the rest of our family. Those handful of friends have changed my trajectory the way that the introduction of Travis into my life did. It's really in the lapsing of time, that we'll all grasp how much it really affected the course of my life.
So how do you top a transformational year. I don't know that you top it, but maybe try to repeat it over and over until you become the best version of yourself, the one that you couldn't even envision the year before because you have grown so much. So what have I come up with? There are four areas of growth I am going to focus on. It is based on the scripture found in Luke 2:52 that states that Jesus increased in wisdom and stature and favor with God and man. As he is my role model, it only stands to reason, that I can mimic his life by growing intellectually, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. In case you think me a genius, know that the framework for these thoughts and actions have come from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I'm spectacularly thankful for their guidance, but even more for my ability to catch the vision.
For me each category was harder than the next, but here is what I have come up with. Some may happen quickly, others may take more than a year to master, but I am committed to replace those items as I conquer them. Intellectually I would like to be fluent in Spanish. This has been weighing on my mind that last quarter of this year. I have spent 100+ consecutive days studying each morning. I need to practice with people and I know many of my friends and family are fluent. Practice with me, I will likely be resistant. For the first time in many years I feel supremely insecure. I like being good at things and this is not something I am intuitively good at. Add to that my worry that my brain is not as flexible and spongelike as it once was, and a crippling fear that I am not actually as smart as I have thought myself to be over these last two decades and fear of failure is on the horizon in a looming way I haven't felt for some time. This worries me that I have not been pushing myself for many years, but instead of dwelling there, I choose to see the opportunity in this all.
Physically, I have debated intensely two items, but one feels more meaningful long term. That goal is to eat more vegetables. I'm not picky, I like vegetables, but I don't eat them or prepare them near as much as I should and instead eat the cursory amount to satisfy my need to feel like an adult. I really am hoping to make 25% of my diet vegetables. My hope is that this will set me up for more long term health that will improve the quality and longevity of my life. Alas there is no health scare, my blood pressure, cholesterol levels, and overall blood work show remarkably healthy values. My love of running and naturally good physical genetics have made me lucky in that way, but I can't help but wonder what eating in a manner more consistent with the Word of Wisdom will do for my health.
Spiritually, I want to pray more intently and find someone to serve every day. Those two will likely go hand in hand. But basically I want to start my day but checking in with my Heavenly Father in the loquacious way I talk to those closest to me. I want to ask him to direct me to someone each day who I can serve and I want to harness that Spirit of revelation and purpose and power daily in my life.
And last socially, I would like to better document all the things I am doing. Alas here comes the revitalization of this blog. Not because I want to monetize it or the world to read it, but I want to continue to print it into books and keep it digitally, so that my children, grandchildren, and endless posterity can visit to learn about their ancestors. They can see pictures, hear stories, and relate to our lives in a way that keeps us close to them even if we are not physically near.
Each year is flying by faster than the last. This life is fleeting, temporary, and spectacular. I just want to make sure that every day I am doing as much living as I possibly can. Love to you all!
