What I Want

Many fast food restaurants have catch phrases and some are along the same line.  McDonald's has one that says, "What you want is what you get"  and Burger King offers along similar lines the phrases "Have it your way" and "Your way, right away". 

And after an Ob/Gyn appt/consult today I can't help but think of these mantras.  I was learning more about IUD's as a possible family planning option for me.  And as I learned more about the two different options, Mirena and Paragard, I couldn't help but wonder why can't we take the best aspects from both of these and make them into one stellar option proving that fast food lingo is more than just a jingle to ramp marketing and increase sales. I don't think I am alone her on my desires.  Breaking it down in a good old fashioned pro/con list you've got:

Mirena Pros:

• light/no period

Paragard Pros:

• 10 years of protection vs. 5 for Mirena
• no hormones (on same type note - no chance of munchies or weight gain)
• less chance/fewer cases of perforation during insertion and overall
• spouse will be totally unaware during intercourse of it's existance
• cheaper

You can imagine the Cons, based on the Pros in the list of the opposite option.  And in every aspect one would choose the Paragard, right???  But alas that's not the way it is.  Some is due to marketing and the big push by physicians and pharmaceuticals towards Mirena.  I mean seriously who hasn't seen a Mirena add in every magazine even remotely targeted toward women.  But an even larger part is that lighter period or possibility at no menstruation (20%).  It is the ever elusive golden egg or should I say pot of gold at the end of the rainbow - St. Patty's day is practically around the corner- the bane of every women's daily existence and the annoyance of a large part of the man population swaying women all over the modern world towards the Mirena. 

So I ask you, dear reader, why in the age of space technology, nuclear warfare, thought (brain sensing headband) controlled phone technology can I not have an option that covers both.  Why can't Mirena not be put in place for 10 years, with lower perforation rates, and no chance at spouse discomfort.  I mean I can concede the hormones are necessarily to eliminate the period and I'll even pay the money, even though it's a total rip for that practically perfect technology. 

All this talk of Beyonce's halftime show being a show of feminism and female empowerment and the age of modernism, I'll give it all up, call it a great club booty shake, and take all of that attention focused on finding a doctor, kudos if it's a woman, and develop this technology STAT. 

And last I can't help but think of Wendy's catchphrase, "Where's the Beef?"  Too far, too much.  Yes, I think so.  Sorry.