My Parents Taught Me...

...lots of things, but the thing that I keep thinking about lately is how my parents taught me how to be rich.  Let me start by saying that we are blessed, but we don't make tons of money.  And I think I feel so richly blessed not only because of our financial means, but just as equally because of our happy, loving home.  Travis told me a story when we were dating; we had been discussing income and what kind of income expectations we had for life.  Now not all people cover these topics so thoroughly but we did. Call me a girl scout, call him an Eagle Scout, we wanted to be prepared for marriage and really did cover pretty much every topic.  Anyway...he said when he was younger he would occasionally ask his mom, "Are we rich?"  She would always reply, "Yes, Travis we are.  We are rich with love."  When he originally told me this story I chuckled a little, thought it was corny a lot, but mainly liked the idea of keeping financial information from the kids.  Something we immediately decided to adopt for our future family.  Now that I am older this story seems far less corny and much more wisdom packed.  A loving family life seems to make up for a world of other shortcomings in my book and in this way our family really is rich.

But today's post is also about the good old fashioned dollar, the actual green kind and my parents teaching me how to collect them and become rich.  First and foremost my parents taught me how to work.  I am being serious when I say this.  Our weekday afternoons were filled with a chore list my mom would have ready by the time we would come home from school, our Saturdays we would spend from waking to dinnertime engaged in hard work.  On special occasions we would end this labor filled day with KFC or Chinese food making these days a treat despite having worked so hard.  And my summers were filled with working from sun up (at least it seemed that way) until well into the afternoon.  Literally my sister and I would eat Grapenuts every morning for breakfast trying to delay the start of work because it took us longer to eat than any other breakfast food we had found.  After many grueling hours in the garden, canning, and laboring we would end up at the Lake Club, a nearby private lake for swimming, canoeing, playing, etc...But not first without wearing ourselves out.  On those days my parents didn't have enough chores for us to do, my dad had a pile of leftover bricks and cement blocks he would have us move around the yard at will to fill the working hours.  Not being afraid of hard work always pays off and for those women out there who will someday primarily reside in the home and have less impact on what is being brought home know this, if you value hard work likely your spouse will have to have that virtue - at least that was the case for me.

Second my parents taught me about working smart.  Hard work can be grunt work unless you are working smart.  Working smart for me starts with a good education and I believe whole heartedly in a college education, no exceptions.  Additionally know what your priorities are in working smart.  If you care more about money than all else well than choose whatever pays the highest year after year.  But if you are like my husband and I it was equally important that we had good amounts of family time, a predictable schedule and flexibility to get away without too much notice.  This helped shape our career choices and likewise our income.  And no matter what you choose to do work smart and become the expert in that area - then you will always be in demand.

And last but not least, spend less than you earn.  I really don't care how much you make and how much you feel like this is an impossibility; it is possible - end of story.  There is no story about how little you make or family circumstance that will have me understanding your point of view.  I guarantee I have been there, I have done it.  And for those who really want to feel rich on any income I say budget.  Show me a person who budgets and I will show you someone who doesn't worry about money.  Living on less than you make is a great principle, living on a budget is a fantastic one.  When budgeting your family's income there are a million and one ways to do it, but...I will share mine.  Do everything in percentages.  For example, 25% of money is taxes, 15% is donated, 15% is saved, and live on 45% daily.  That 45% breakdown could be 25% is put towards a house, 10% is used for fixed and necessary bills, 10% is used for flexible and most easily adjusted bills.  Of that last 10% some of it can be fun money or personal money as you and your spouse decide but not always is it there.  But let me promise you this, if you work off your budget for a couple of months you will find the room for fun money.  I promise!  And note that not all people feel like these percentages would work for them especially if you are making less it might be hard to save that much, but a firm disciplined lifestyle in spending will lead you down the road to financial success. 

Last of all practice, practice and make your kids practice.  I have a three year old who gets allowance.  Some say that is ludicrous, but he is also the same boy who buys birthday presents for friend's parties, his siblings' Christmas gifts, and vacation souvenirs all from his own money.  He may need a lot of help making wise choices and getting the concepts now, but by age 9 like Bella he'll probably be a pro.  At least that is the goal.  Here's to green living, the old fashioned way!

Dear Jamie Oliver,

I think I love you.  I mean that in the most non-stalkerish and threatening way.  It all started several years ago, 2002 actually.  I was newly married and finishing my last semester of college.  I was pregnant with my first child and so naturally I had a little free time on my hands, which I spent watching quite a bit of tv, your show actually Jamie's Kitchen.  Although you weren't handsome in the most traditional sense I quickly and naturally fell completely in lust with you.  You were refreshingly unkempt for a girl who loves clean cut.  Plus your accent didn't hurt the equation at all.  I soon started looking for you on the tv and quickly became a fan of Oliver's Twist and old reruns of The Naked Chef.

Then, this month I was reading Better Homes and Garden.  And you brought me via the magazine my new favorite dessert - Easy Orange-Carrot Cake.  I made the recipe and my lust turned legitimate.  Oh yeah imagine breathy sighs, birds singing, and building music in the background.  Your commentary on the recipe said "We all love a treat once in a while, and a slice of this carrot cake will definitely put a smile on your face...The icing will make it a bit more indulgent, but if you're only baking this every once in a while and serving a small wedge rather than a huge slice, there's nothing wrong with a little indulgence."  You were not lying about the smile you put on my face or less personal the smile you promised to put on the faces of those who made this cake.  It is amazing without the frosting, but with the frosting it is divine. 

Somehow I feel like I might have let you down though.  Because what started with a small wedge quickly turned into 2 small wedges.  And when my 3 year old son didn't want to finish his I added a third wedge.  I couldn't possibly waste it could I.  But guess what I am still smiling.  And I still think I love you.  So...if you ever happen to be in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania and want to continue the food affair you just let me know.  Seriously I'll make time.  And just between me and you while writing that last sentence I think I stumbled upon the name of your next big show Food Affair or my little bakery I plan to open someday. 

Love, Enraptured, Enamored, Lustily, (I can't pick which one suits best)
Mary

This Is How It Went

We were at the Pediatrician's office for the kids' annual checkups, Bella and Wyatt.  Our doctor although a spectacular pediatrician is as dry and humorless as any man I have ever known.  The doctor is looking the kids over inclusive of their nether regions.  Wyatt was first and Bella was up on the table.  The doctor was about to check her nether regions when:

Wyatt:  (giggles)  Bella that is going to tickle.  It tickles when he checks your private parts.
Me:  Wyatt knock it off.
Wyatt:  It does.  He (pointing to the Dr.) touched my private parts.
Me:  Doctors are allowed to touch your private parts when they are making sure you are healthy and if they think something is wrong with it. 
Wyatt:  And me.
Me:  Yes and Mom if there is a problem.
Wyatt::  What about Dad?
Me:  Yes moms, dads, and Dr.s are the only ones allowed to touch your private parts, but only if there is a problem or they are checking you at the Dr.'s office.
Wyatt:  What about grandmas and grandpas?
Me:  Absolutely not.  Only moms, dads, and Dr's.
Wyatt:  What about Bella?  Can she check my private parts? 
Me:  No she shouldn't even see your private parts.  That is why you guys have your own rooms.
Wyatt:  What about you and Dad?  You share a room.  Is that so he can check your private parts?

The doctor looks up at me with a full smile on his face waiting for me to answer.  His levity is obvious.  And for such a deadpan guy it was as if he had dropped to the floor rolling with laughter.  I look at Wyatt who had an evil glint in his eye.  And that is when I realized he had purposely orchestrated my embarrassing death.  Touche little man, you have won the battle but not the war.  You have your whole teenage years ahead of you.

How Was Yours?

I spent my Friday evening with Travis and the three older kids ice skating with some of our friends.  We left Kody with a sitter because we were afraid he would not be up for ice skating.

Our friends and their four kids.



Bella, Wyatt, and Issac get used to ice.  They ended up being pretty good.



After that we went to a high school reunion themed par-tay.  There were pictures of us in our high school years.  They were great.  As always my hubby was a hottie stud muffin.  We danced the Macerana and other dances reminiscent of the time.  It was a good time.  My slow death was not eating any of the yummy food.  Have I mentioned that for Lent I gave up eating after 7pm.  Yes I did give this up last year too, but what can I say?  I stink at it.  If at first you don't succeed, try try again.  So here we are.  Then we came home and I watched part of a movie in bed while I waited for Travis to drop the babysitter off.  He joined me for all of five minutes before crashing into a coma like sleep.

The next day we played with the neighbors, I lazed around the house and then we went to Ephrata Cloister.  It is a historical sight here in Lancaster.  In the words of Wyatt "This is the second most boring museum I have ever been to."  Yet we did have fun as a family, but that is more about we love to explore together new places.  Additionally we visited the cemetery there as I have ancestors who lived there in the late 1700's.  The stones were so worn down I couldn't read most of them, but found them all fascinating still the same.

Sunday was good.  We played, went to church, and made this delicious snack.  My weekend was so good.  How was yours?

After School

The girls and Kody playing in the "wilderness".

The boys!

I love having tons of kids over to play, warm sunny weather, and me and my neighbor chatting it up.  Most days I have 2-8 kids in addition to mine.  And that is exactly how I spent today until I had to send the kids home to prep for my crazy busy and fun weekend. 

St. Patty's Day

Bring on the green and other ridiculousness.  I claim my Irish heritage with pride because it is a chance to act crazy and no one seems to think anything of it.  My kind of holiday for sure.  So I made some cabbage and sausage casserole, coleslaw, and Irish soda bread for dinner.  Then I got dressed up to go watch a neighbor and her Irish band.  Good times!

Don't worry this gets mozarella cheese melted all over it.  It is yummo!

I love BREAD!

The Daily Living

My children are growing and today as a friend of mine was over and was commenting on her 5 month old and how she was compared to her 6 and 4 year old daughters, I realized that there were so many small details I had already forgotten about my babies and what each of their personalities were like.  So today is to document the here and now. 

Kody is getting so silly.  He loves catch phrases and loves to half seriously, half mockingly say "Yes Sir" when either his siblings or parents give him a command.  Also he says "Oh my goodness".  It is so cute and it makes me blissfully happy.  Stupid I know, but a fact still the same.  He loves to try and make me laugh like the other day when he found a pacifier in the cupboard and began to act like a baby in an extremely exaggerated but endearing way.  Slowly he is outgrowing his terrible twos and threes stage and additionally his Sensory Processing Disorder, something I don't really tell a lot of people or talk about, is becoming more manageable with each day.  But he is also growing into a little kleptomaniac.  In the last two weeks he has stolen 3 things.  Yes seriously stolen, like from a local hardware store, the school book fair, and a consignment shop. Although we have made him return items and apologize himself and pay for those items which were not returnable and although we have not once let him keep, play with, or enjoy any of these things I still fear it will happen again although this last return he cried with embarrassment so I am hopeful.  Overall when I think of Kody right now I think of me walking towards that light at the end of a long tunnel - this is the beginning of the end of a couple of pretty difficult years for me and him.

Issac is acclimating to Pre-K like a champ.  Some days he comes home telling me how boring it was, but still he is excited almost everyday to go.  It is a somewhat hard transition for him to go so long with so little physical activity.  As you can imagine when he gets home he bounces from wall to wall.  He loves primary and singing and sings his heart out both in church, at home, but most enjoyably in the car typically to pop music, which I know I should think is inappropriate, but I find it largely amusing.  His recent pediatric opthemology appointment to deal with an eye issue lasted over three hours which of course is ludicrous but still he impressed me with his improved patience and handled it all..  Issac robustly picked out his first pair of glasses.  The eye care specialists laughed at his very specific tastes and commented on how combining that with his mowhawk and very clear sense of style made predictions of his future success as a fashion designer.  Issac is just so much fun, maybe because he is so much like me - I don't know, but he just exudes happy energy.

Wyatt is changing his personality in so many ways.  Previously he has always been my very easiest child and although he is still pretty mellow this is the first year he has expressed many opinions, ideas, and wants so clearly.  Likewise he is frustrated when things don't go as he thinks they should, when he finds out he is wrong, or when he is told no.  He is excelling at school and has had perfect attendence since his very first day in Kindergarten and is excited to keep this going forever even to the extent of refusing a family vacation that we had considered for this month in lieu of those perfect attendance certificates each year.  According to him he is second best at math in his class and that is fast becoming his favorite subject.  He also has turned into a little video game junkie wanting to spend all his time playing computer games, Wii games, or Gameboy Advance.  This is where we tend to have our little battles of will.  In the end I continue to win them but not without some collateral damage like him saying, "I wish you weren't my mom." ouch or other hurtful things. But still at heart he is one of the sweetest most pleasant boys and I am hoping it is just a passing phase.

Isabella recently turned 9.  Her birthday presents were varied as her interests are.  Her presents represent her life shift from girl to 'tween'.  She has been on a kick of learning to cook and so she shadows me around the kitchen each night wanting to learn to make more and more new foods, her specialty is cornbread.  She loves to write stories and poems and is currently writing a book for a local children's writing contest.  Lately I have been teaching her to not be afraid to try hard things and after a bit of cajoling/forcing her to, she learned that lesson.  She didn't want to memorize the 10th Article of Faith for a church thing two Sundays ago.  She claimed it was for a variety of reasons all of which I knew to be lame.  I knew it was really because she thought it would be hard.  She fought me all along the way, but I persisted.  Once she had it memorized I gave her the option to share whichever Article of Faith she wanted to knowing that if her lame reasons were legitimate she would pick another.  When she got up to speak out came the tenth one.  And she glowed with pride and I knew she had learned a valuable lesson.  Since Bella is such a sponge, this is what parenting her is all about - taking those teaching moments.

Travis is busy, busy, busy, and still the most devoted husband.  He is working 90ish hours a week.  And yet every moment the kids are awake he is trying to dote on them.  He is getting better at anticipating any family need so that he can be prepped for it since his time is so limited.  He loves to put the kids to bed and it is something I have willingly turned over to him.  He cherishes the time spent catching up on their day and gives me some unwinding time.  On Saturdays he lets me spend the morning sleeping in and then we engage in family work and play.  Additionally Travis has taken a more vested interest in his position as Scout Leader and has been making headway on some new plans for that.  When I think of Travis I hear the word devotion in my head.  He is devoted to the Lord, me, the kids, and his service in that order.  He is just perfection.

As for me, well my days are filled with the busy moments of most every mother; laundry, cleaning, carpooling, child rearing, cooking, etc...But somehow I fit more in.  I love reading and so continue to participate in three book clubs.  Yet I constantly struggle to balance that, dare I say, addiction with the priorities of real life.  Additionally I love being in the community and have therefore volunteered to be the Vice President of Women's Club of Manheim for the next two year term.  It is then assumed that unless the President renews her term that I will be the president the following term, a thought that terrifies me to no end.  I like to spend my free time planning our summer vacations.  Some camping trips, a Texas trip, another several state tour like last year's New England Adventure.  I live for these trips and have found that I am happiest when exploring every nook and cranny of our country with my family.  And since the Fifty State Sweep will see its conclusion in the next two years I am already contemplating my international options.

Perhaps this is boring to all of you, to me it seems it.  But in another five years I may not be able to remember the details of this time frame as I struggled today to remember five years ago.  But hopefully I will remember that I wrote it down.  And when I do I'll look back and smile because I'm sure by then we'll be onto new things and different phases and this will seem very nostalgic and I love remembering the past.