Oh Crap, My Son's a Genius

So I know this shouldn't be a bad thing right, but let me give you the context. So I am trying to get Wyatt into preshool for next year, really pre-k but the subtle difference is missed by a lot of people. Anyway...the school district here offers one. Bella went to one out in Utah and I thought it was the best thing for her. Surprisingly enough all of my kids can be quite shy at first, Wyatt is the worst, Bella has pretty much outgrown it. I think they need the socialization to work them into Kindergarten, especially all day. And also -little moment of honesty here, I am not one of those mothers who work on things with their kids.

You know the kind I am talking about. Their children know their colors, numbers, letters, names, sounds, etc... by age 2. I don't do flashcards, quizzing, anything really. Not that I have anything against it, I secretly envy those moms and kids. I just don't have the time and it is not a priority. Anyway for this pre-k program you fill out an application, you go have an evaluation and they then pick the students. Based on several criteria, mainly income, skill/knowledge level, and other extenuating circumstances.

Although we are not rich, I somehow had my doubts about us meeting the income objective. As for extenuating circumstances, the guy was like if you don't have a car, weird family situations, etc... Who doesn't have a car? Really. So lastly I was hoping that somehow Wyatt was behind academically figuring all that not working on school stuff had paid off. Or if nothing else his shyness would inhibit him from talking to the assessor.

Just my luck. It turns out Wyatt was very shy. But this guy who would be teaching the class, was so good. He pulls out dinosour toys and they start to play without talking. He then asks Wyatt some questions like who is this with you today, and other primers of the sort. Eventually I can see him segway to the testing and Wyatt is fast coming out of his shell. Oh no. Please be dumb. A prayer not often uttered by mothers I know.

It turns out for all of Wyatt's not talking or being interested or sitting down with me, he is quite the genius - this even confirmed by the teacher. So Wyatt identifies colors, come on, counts to 29, who knew, and continues with some really amazing feats like shapes, rhyming word card games, same sound games, identifying letters, numbers, and timed guessing games. Last of all the guy asks him to draw a picture. Which he does of himself, when prompted who it is, Wyatt answers me, to which the guy says can you write your name. I know he is never going to do this because we have never even tried. Till last week he didn't even know what letters were in his name or so I thought. Wyatt proceeds to write his name nigh on to perfectly with a slightly odd shaped "w", slowly visualizing each letter in his name. Who knew.

In the end the guy said they would finish evaluations this week, have letters mailed one way or another by next week's end. But that this part was his least favorite part of the job, where he unofficially told me not to count on it, and referred me to some other private pre-K, academically based programs. I guess I'm glad Wyatt is a genius, but couldn't he just have actted mute for the thirty minutes thus confusing the testor to believe he is dumb. The things we, maybe it's just me, mothers wish for.

Country Wide Mourning Takes Place

It is going to be a sad day in the country tomorrow and many days afterward. As many of you already know, I am not a shy breastfeeder. I am the mom whipping her boob out oblivious or rather unconcerned with the dodgey glances flying all around me.

But tomorrow starts a new age one where my youngest child, Kody - 9 mos - is weened. Typically I wait till a year, but being an earlier teether and all we seem to have different ideas as to what breastfeeding is all about. I believe it is a form of nourishment. To Kody it is a playground for his newly blossoming teeth. Nevermind the teething toys so craftily made and millions invested by toy manufacturers. It seems the only thing he teethes on are my teets.

So as of tomorrow, Kody, adios to my teets. They will no longer bare the tread mark scabbed scars of your teeth. And to the world, you no longer will enjoy the privledge of a quick peep show on which my pancake boobs flop lifelessly out of my braizzerre. Weeping may begin now as I know you are all devasted. So long.

I Was Afraid To Choose

Life is just a composition of moments congealed together. I love my life and each day I think about that. Each moment is a decision and I find myself not making choices. It seems a terrible waste and shame. Often times I don't know what to choose and I worry about every long term effect that could occur down the road. And always the roads have a down side or less than desirable trail along the way. And I find myself in a state of paralysis. What if I choose wrong? What if I don't choose the right choice? And is there just one choice?

So instead of choosing, embracing, and trusting in myself, my husband, kids, family, friends to deal with the outcome I succumb to doing nothing. But life still goes on and those around me continue to have their moments and make their choices. And my not doing anything was a choice in itself. I just sort of figured that I couldn't be responsible for any of the bad if I didn't choose it. And accepting all the praise of the good seemed easier anyway.

Yes my life is good, but that is because I have a loving Heavenly Father. And anything good has come from him and my dependence on him whether I can admit it day to day or not. So when did I stop being so dependent on him? Why when I didn't know what to do, didn't I ask him? Surely he knows the answers. And I believe in his being there for me, I believe in his omniscience, but I forget. The default of routine and monotony is comfortable. Nothing is required of me except a series of physical motions to keep the day from sliding into chaos.

Maybe I would feel okay about that if not for the realization that hundreds of millions of people long for that in the world everyday. To know that someone is in control beyond them. To know that God exists and loves them personally. To know that they could receive any answer they needed from him at any time. And so as one of my wisest friend's says "he calls me back and gently humbles me. I thought I could do it on my own, but now I see." What a selfish cad I've been. My greatest blessings aren't my life and the things in them, but one core truth that I have "a loving, very real, Father in Heaven".

So I take this opportunity, this very public forum to let you all - my friends and cybersurfers alike - know that I know. I know the things I've written are true. I know so many other truths as well about my life before here and life after here. And I know that all of these things are founded in the teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I know that one day I will live with my Heavenly Father again. Maybe I forget to remember him as much as I should, but he loves and reminds me and I love those reminders. Maybe I can help another remember too, or learn for the first time.

My Husband Rocks My World

Yeah in that way too, but that's not what I am talking about here.

So my husband is the greatest and I know it, so here I am shouting it to the world via internet. He always takes care of me. Typically we go on date nights on Thursday's, but since moving here we haven't. We don't know anyone to babysit and we're poor right now, all the money went to the down payment. Okay well not poor, but my thrifty nature keeps me from spending money till I get to a certain point.

Anyway last night he totally surprised me with a babysitter, a girl that he found from calling the Young Women's president to get referrals and confirming with David. He took me out and wouldn't tell me where we were going. I was a little nervous, because I don't like surprises. I know I'm messed up, but I am getting over my control freak tendencies. His nervousness about it didn't ease my fears either. Anyway...I had no idea where we were driving, but then I started seeing Stadium Parking signs.

I love sports. We have a minor league baseball team here. The Lancaster Barnstormers. Yeah that's right. I have been wanting to go, and he got some free, this is why I love my husband, tickets from some guy at work. And they weren't just any tickets. They were skybox tickets with h'orderves (sp?) and dinner and dessert. So the surprise was amazing, because the whole thing was relatively cheap, it's like my favorite thing to do, and I missed it being just us.

He was worried about me having to chit chat with people in the building business, but it turned out to be better than I expected since the man who invited us took an instant liking to me and flirted shamelessly with me all night. I'll take it. Oh, the perks of his job. Anyway...I love T-rex. The only down side is his boss took the Phillies tickets someone gave them. Hopefully, we'll eventually land some of those tickets too. But I'm not complaining.

Here's to a turn around in my week. And Scott, the Yankee's suck. Yeah you heard me.

On the Other Hand...

I think I may be failing as a mother. The other two boys drive me to my limit almost everyday. I don't know what to do. The major problems are as follows: they play together when they should be sleeping and then are grumpy all day because they are tired, they play and almost always end of fighting with Wyatt unleashing his temper and thus pummeling Issac for minor things, Issac when he doesn't get his way or wants to be played with bites others mainly Wyatt. These behaviors are not okay with me especially the hitting and biting. I don't know what to do. I have done time out, spanking, etc... Today though I realized I am losing this battle, but it is important to me.

It all came to a point, when I was trying to go to the bathroom. Heaven forbid I get five minutes alone. The boys were in their room playing. I hear a fight break out and yell to knock it off from my bathroom, but they seized upon the fact that I was currently detained and continued on. Wyatt ended up beating Issac. Issac came looking and crying all through the house for me. He would have just told me Wyatt hit him. It happens daily. He's looking for me to punish Wyatt, but I know he typically is the instigator. I ignore him knowing that eventually he will go back and play. He does and soon after it all happens all over again. I call Wyatt to the bathroom, where I spank him really hard, my hand even stings. He cries but only a short time and I know that nothing has really changed. It is not like all of the sudden he will never hit again.

And I am frustrated because I am angry. I am angry that I can't take a poo, sorry I know it's gross, for five minutes without total chaos breaking out. And I realized that I am spanking Wyatt not because I am calm and in control and showing him that he is being punished and that actions have consequences, but because I just need five minutes. I don't want to be the judge, referee, defender of my one son from the other, and so forth every minute of every day. And I can't go back and undo these children, because they are here and I want them, but I feel like I am failing miserably. And I am usually really good at the things I do, but I am not good at this. And so I put them all in seperate rooms in time out and me the same, but nothing has changed.

Baby Bathtime

I love bathing Kody. He loves the bath and he plays and coos the whole time long. He thinks it is a funny game to try and make the biggest splashes possible to get me wet. The first time he did it, he got quite a reaction out of me and now he tries to duplicate it. Of course I appease him with my fake squeals of horror at getting wet. But he makes the best faces and so I took these pictures. A typical bath with Kody.

House Update

So the pictures are out of order, but here goes. My favorite space, walk in closet, Travis has his own seperate walk in. Bella's bedroom. All of the kids are pretty similar. Rectangle rooms, sparsely decorated thus far. Family room. I love this room too. Den/Office. Kitchen. Bedroom - I love my bed. Mmm.

Well now that things are a little more settled, I have taken some house pictures for those of you who asked. Keep in mind, it is messy now that we actually live in it. I am not dream housekeeper or anything of that nature. Some of you have come and seen it in person and the rest of you are welcome to visit anytime. I've gotten a lot of slack about people saying they weren't invited, I didn't know I needed to send an invitation. So consider yourselves invited. I am an open door policy kind of person. Knock and walk in. Love you all.