Birthday, Derby, Birthday, Birthday

A silly mish mash of words, you ask.  No the title is what our month of January looked like.  In the middle of January right about the time I think I have recovered from Christmas, my husband has a birthday.  You already know how great I think he is.  So I'll just add the pictures.

But then this year we had two boys participating in the Pinewood Derby, a wooden car racing Cub Scout Event.  For me this was a hard challenge not only because I had to help with a large part of the car construction, not my cup of tea, but also because the boys opted for the coolness of their cars versus aerodynamics.  In the end the cars weren't the fastest, one boy was still thrilled - the other not so much.  I'm thinking next year I may have a little more luck teaching lessons in aerodynamics.

Then after that there was another round of birthdays. The two boys have them two days apart. Both turned nine. Their presents were identical in composition if not actual items. Is this what it is like to have twins? But there were some differences. One wanted to take in chocolate cupcakes for class treat, the other chocolate cake balls, one wanted chocolate cake with peanut butter icing for their cake, the other chocolate peanut butter ice cream cake. Yeah I repeat...is this what it is like having twins? I think they both had great birthdays. They're pretty amazing, tons of fun, and always entertaining. Love these boys.

Picture This

Wordy wordy, no more, here's a visual entry...

Horsey Ride

The boys playing.

Activity Day Runway Show

Pinewood Derby Spectators

Handsomest Man fixes car - Grease in the Eye

 

Sledding Fun

All tuckered out - heading home!

 

 

You Don't Know Me

Here are some gems that might surprise you.

Did you know:

• I charge my kids a dollar each time they leave a room empty with the light left on
• When I was younger I wanted to be a russian speaking spy, but am the most easily startled person ever
• Sometimes if you startle me, I cry.  I don't know why, I just do okay
• I take the lazy way out of birthday candles on cakes (no way I'm putting more than 10 on there) i.e. 36 becomes two groupings, one of three, the other of six or something like it
• I built two Pinewood Derby cars this year.  I thought they would be awesome for no other reason than I am usually naturally good at the things I try
• PS - they were awful and lost practically every race
• Sometimes I think I should have been an elementary education teacher and then I come to my senses
• I make lists of everything, all the time
• I have never hated a person, for more than a moment anyway
• I really am glad I can play the piano even though I still resent the lessons
• I love color but am deathly afraid of using it when decorating
• My bedroom closet is color coded into sections with matching color cordinating hangers all spaced evenly apart, but the clothes on the shelves above are a hot, jumbled mess
• I climb on my counters daily, because I am too short
• I almost constantly have music playing in the background
• I believe everyone should have an anthem/mantra at any given time
• Sometimes I feel guilty that having Travis gone hasn't been as hard as everyone else seems to think it should be
• I have some of the most erratic sleep behaviors of anyone I know
• I talk on the phone, text, and read (both emails and books) while I drive.  It's awful I know.
• I am really intolerant of my kids being picky at dinner time.  I will make them eat whatever I have made.  And don't think about spitting it back out, because I may just make you eat it again.

I'm not really sure anyone has learned anything of importance here, but just thought I would preserve this record of the inane for the future.

Lucky Number 13

Many of you assume this post will be about love or Valentine's Day. 

 

Well you are right. 

 

I mean when you are happily married to the man of your dreams

you can't help be reminded of that love

in every song on the radio,

every beautiful scene in nature,

 with every older couple hobbling down the street hand in hand,

and with every miracle that this life provides.

 

And so it is that I want to wish my very own special someone

"hApPY AnNiVErsArY"

Yeah, you heard right.

 

13 years ago today my hubster proposed to me

in the softly falling snow, at Midnight

both of us dressed in head to toe camouflage,

illegally parked directly in front of the most beautiful building on campus.

 

It might not be everyone's dream of romance

but it's our very own version of true love.

Him taking me and me taking him,

pairing up for life, yoking ourselves together,

sharing our mutual loves (the snow, the building)

and compromising on our differences (the camo).

 

I'm glad we've made it to thirteen years.

It feels so grown up, so adult like.

But the great thing is I still feel like a child,

full of wonder and merriment,

unexplained happiness and joy,

always wanting to play.

 

And that's because of you babe.

I need you in my life.

It's just better that way.

I'm forever young, carefree, and beautiful in your presence.

I'm who I was meant to be but more refined.

 

And as for the day we hit 70 years,

because it's a very real possibility,

I'm ecstatic. Because I know ours,

it's a love story to last the ages.

It will be great.

 

And for my children who are a product

of love, more extraordinary than I could have fathomed 14 years ago,

this love extends to you too.

Sure it's different: it's purer, less selfish, and more devoted,

but it's just as intense.

I'm only a good mom because your perfection inspires it.

 

 

What I Want

Many fast food restaurants have catch phrases and some are along the same line.  McDonald's has one that says, "What you want is what you get"  and Burger King offers along similar lines the phrases "Have it your way" and "Your way, right away". 

And after an Ob/Gyn appt/consult today I can't help but think of these mantras.  I was learning more about IUD's as a possible family planning option for me.  And as I learned more about the two different options, Mirena and Paragard, I couldn't help but wonder why can't we take the best aspects from both of these and make them into one stellar option proving that fast food lingo is more than just a jingle to ramp marketing and increase sales. I don't think I am alone her on my desires.  Breaking it down in a good old fashioned pro/con list you've got:

Mirena Pros:

• light/no period

Paragard Pros:

• 10 years of protection vs. 5 for Mirena
• no hormones (on same type note - no chance of munchies or weight gain)
• less chance/fewer cases of perforation during insertion and overall
• spouse will be totally unaware during intercourse of it's existance
• cheaper

You can imagine the Cons, based on the Pros in the list of the opposite option.  And in every aspect one would choose the Paragard, right???  But alas that's not the way it is.  Some is due to marketing and the big push by physicians and pharmaceuticals towards Mirena.  I mean seriously who hasn't seen a Mirena add in every magazine even remotely targeted toward women.  But an even larger part is that lighter period or possibility at no menstruation (20%).  It is the ever elusive golden egg or should I say pot of gold at the end of the rainbow - St. Patty's day is practically around the corner- the bane of every women's daily existence and the annoyance of a large part of the man population swaying women all over the modern world towards the Mirena. 

So I ask you, dear reader, why in the age of space technology, nuclear warfare, thought (brain sensing headband) controlled phone technology can I not have an option that covers both.  Why can't Mirena not be put in place for 10 years, with lower perforation rates, and no chance at spouse discomfort.  I mean I can concede the hormones are necessarily to eliminate the period and I'll even pay the money, even though it's a total rip for that practically perfect technology. 

All this talk of Beyonce's halftime show being a show of feminism and female empowerment and the age of modernism, I'll give it all up, call it a great club booty shake, and take all of that attention focused on finding a doctor, kudos if it's a woman, and develop this technology STAT. 

And last I can't help but think of Wendy's catchphrase, "Where's the Beef?"  Too far, too much.  Yes, I think so.  Sorry.

What's The Use???

What's the use of having a gaggle of boys if not for shoveling snow in the winter.  All of these 1-3" snowfalls we keep getting this winter are just good practice building their muscles for the real deal.

Reshaping It

Sometimes my life is just plain hard.  For example my childhood years were filled with turmoil and physical pain and distress as my parents were both a little crazy and preoccupied with their hatred towards one another and sometimes me to be overly attentive towards my needs.  My high school experience was abysmal because I didn't have support in school either academically or extracurricularly.  I was taken across the country to college at age 17 and deposited in Idaho by my brother, both my parents opting to not sacrifice what they were doing in their life or on their vacation in Utah visiting with other friends and family to be bothered.  My dad had said he would pay for my college education but after one semester cut me off cold turkey and without warning leaving me totally and completely financially ruined.  In college I had a very tumultuous relationship with the man I am now married to.  I often wonder if he would have married me had I not given him the most intense sales job of his life.  In our first years of marriage we moved 6 times in four years and often without him having employment anywhere we moved.  I had children very young and very close, 4 in 5 years, causing large amounts of stress and financial burden at times.  We still haven't sold our Utah house and sometimes the burden of two mortgages gives me unbelievable stress.  I sometimes feel claustrophobic with how much I am at home and now that we live in Pennsylvania and are somewhat settled I feel stifled and wonder when the kids will be all grown up and I will get MY life back.

On the other hand...growing up I had some of the closest relationships with my siblings ever.  I had a million experiences as my parent's eccentricities led us to raising bees and having the largest garden I have ever encountered, among other notable adventures including motorcycles, boats, campers, beach houses, and cabins.  At a young age I learned what was important in life, who I was and what I wanted for my life and how to be independent both financially and emotionally.  My high school years were filled with hundreds of moments filled with gut wrenching laughter and shenanigans.  Upon arriving at college, I met and made immediate lifelong friendships.  I found my soul mate before the semester even officially started and we spent every minute challenging one another on our every belief making sure we were compatible for eternity.  By 20 I was married, had my first child, and had graduated from college.  I have lived all over the United States, visited every state finishing this year with the Hawaii and often been able to indulge my vagabond tendencies.  My husband is such a hard worker, very skilled and simply a genius and so we have never worried about him finding employment or suitably providing for us.  By age 30 I owned two homes, our own business and all my children, who are more our best buddies than kids, are in school.  I still enjoy the luxury of never having to work and using my time to volunteer in civic, school, and church service endeavors.  I wait anxiously for our children to grow up so I can see what amazing adults and people they will become and look forward to the day that our financial independence will allow my husband and I to travel the world and serve the Lord serving mission after mission while we are still young and full of energy shipping our children and their families to visit us all over the world.

I write this post to illustrate a point.  Both these paragraphs cover the very exact same events in life.  All of the things and feelings I have written are expressly true.  Point being that how you contextualize an experience really gives shape to who you are and how you view things.  Since I think anyone who knows me can better reconcile me with the narrative voice of the second paragraph I really don't feel like I did or can do the first justice.  Regardless I say to each of you...I see who you are, not with your words but with how you shape them.  Be of Good Cheer!

Copyrighted: It's Done

"Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match" are some of the most well known lyrics from Fiddler on the Roof, truly a gem among musicals.  And as I watched last night's episode of New Girl, a gem among TV sitcoms, I laughed at the premise, an Indian dating convention, where people were grouped based on education, employment etc...and how their perceived notions of where they were based on a third party unbiased opinion differed cracked me up and rang true.

And I couldn't help but think of a phrase that I would like to see become famous copyrighted by me right here, right now "Match your brand of crazy."  It's my life's worth of knowledge and advice and wisdom boiled down to five words.

I think in America and in life in general it takes all kinds to make the world work, interesting, and its best.  That being said...when picking spouses or even friends, "Match your brand of crazy."  Because there is always someone who will look at you and think you are madder than a Hatter nuts, Cray cray with a capital C, or just plain Bat Crap crazy - these are my favorite when referring to others.  But all that I am really saying is that their brand doesn't match my brand.  Its foreign, unusual and just a little disconcerting.

So if people want the key to life and happiness it is this:  Know yourself well enough to know who you are (at your core), find people who are fundamentally the same, marry the one who is most similar and smoking hot, and live happily ever after with those like minded individuals.

And so to each of you I say "Match your brand of crazy."  Go forth, spread the word, because if I have any potential to be famous someday it is because of these words.  My chances of fame aren't looking so good are they???

Let Me Break It Down For You

The Superbowl Halftime Show created quite a stir.  Two days later it is still a buzz.  I recently read this bit via a facebook feed:

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/davidhenson/2013/02/a-prophetic-dance-of-power-not-sex-beyonce-the-super-bowl-and-durga/

After reading this, let me break it down for you:

The author writes and I paraphrase here, if while watching you saw immodesty, sex, skimpy clothes, hypersexuality, than that is on you and what you wanted to see, because that's not what it was about at all. 

So his implication is that my five year old, who doesn't know what sex is, wouldn't be able to define skimpy or hypersexual, commented that he could "practically see her privacy bottom" in reference to her vagina was definitely what my five year old lecherously wanted to see in this show. 

And for all of his talk about this performance being about power, is it his supposition that power cannot be demonstrated through her walk, being embraced by her own arms, power through her own body or the replication of the goddess Durga with more clothes on.  Because if that power can be demonstrated either way, then what would possess you to make the decision to wear less and do the performance.  Something surely must have tipped the balance scales there.  Shocking to think it may be something as simple as "sex sells". 

My favorite is when he comments "Beyoncé’s body is important — not because it is hypersexualized — but because it was a women’s body only, not a woman’s body sculpted for a man."  Really because at 5'7" and being 130 lbs - note her preferred weight it 128, that puts her in the small frame category of most health check systems.  It puts her in the ranks of model material {see my previous post}, and hardly what I would construe as a woman's body since in 2006 the average woman's weight was 164.7 lbs. 

When he finishes the article "It’s no wonder some people attempted to wrest back control over her and her body by marginalizing her performance by sexualizing it." I can't help but feel sad that he doesn't realize that she marginalized herself by making the decisions that she did.

I am a big fan of Beyonce, the girl can sing.  I mean really sing, incredible talent.  As for her Super Bowl performance, I found it entertaining, fun, and interesting.   But guess what I also found it to be very sexual and provocative.  And that was due to her decision to package what could have fundamentally been a breathtaking performance with tons of vocal chops by supercharging it with sex.  And more than anything I was embarrassed to have to explain to my kids what they unwittingly saw for themselves.

So Dear Author,
Please don't be so dense or purposely blind to the fact that this performance was intended to be sexual.  Because when you do it just lets me know that my five year old is a whole lot smarter than you.

And I'm done!  I'm not usually this serious. :)